Idaman

thankyoucomeagain

2012-01-24T13:13:00.000Z

A man sent a pair of shoes to a shoe shop to be repaired.

World War II broke out soon after.

Many years after the war, the man walks along that street again, and his eyes catches the shoe shop. He wondered…

He decided to walk in and ask.

The cobbler behind the counter pulls out a dusty record book from a drawer at the bottom of his work desk and asks, “What’s your name you say?”

The man gives his name. The cobbler flips the pages of the record book, intently looking at the details within the decaying pages, and finally looks up and says...

“Ah, here it is. It’ll be ready next week.”

****

Two friends went to a restaurant for lunch.

After ordering food, they noticed that their cutlery was not clean. They took some time using the napkins to clean it.

One of them then beckons a waiter over and says, “Could we have two glasses please.”

“And makes sure it’s clean.”

After a while, the waiter comes back with two glasses in his hands and asks, “Who was it that wanted the clean glass?”

The Grandfather of Change

2011-07-15T13:35:00.002+01:00

To be successful, three things:

i. hard work

ii. resourcefulness

iii. stinginess

Always remember that.

This used to be...

2011-06-17T08:26:00.002+01:00

my playground.

Well, not this one specifically, but something that is in the same league, perhaps numerous divisions down :-)

About time I, we, started reading for fun again.

What an elder sees sitting...

2011-06-05T12:11:00.002+01:00

the young can't see standing.

The uncle was on his back on the pavement with all four of his limbs somewhat frozen up in the air, his left hand still holding onto his plastic bag.

I thought this couldn't be the first time he has fallen down.

A gentleman rushed over to help him up. The grateful uncle dusted himself and stepped back onto the five foot way with the helping hand, trying to figure out the reason he fell. It was about 1.5 feet from the five foot way to the pavement he fell back on... steep enough to cause problems for some of us.

I parked my car by that pavement and went over to him. I asked him if he was ok. He was still a little shaken.

I dusted his back, as there was some dirt on him.

"Very steep ah, uncle, this step?”

He asked if his elbow was bleeding, as at his old age, he couldn't crane his neck to look. It wasn't.

I asked if he was with someone, and he indicated that someone inside the supermarket was with him.

I went back into my car, thinking how dangerous it was to fall like this, even more so for those of us who are more vulnerable, our elders.

Do help people you come across, especially those who could use our help. There are so many obstacles out there that we need to keep a look out for each other.

God protect us all.

A male gynecologist is like...

2011-05-17T05:45:00.003+01:00

an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. ~ Ms. Snow

“It’ll cost you 27,000 ringgit.”

No way!

“But off the record, no receipts, I can do it for 15,000 ringgit. It’ll be as good as the original – in fact, I’ll use original parts for you.”

That’s a saving of 12,000 ringgit I thought. My interest was piqued.

“In the meantime, my advice is don’t drive fast, and certainly don’t take your car out of town. You never know when your gearbox will give in. In fact, you’re putting your life in danger everytime you drive the car.”

That’s the conversation we had at the counter of a service centre belonging to an authorised network of a reputable foreign car manufacturer.

“I’ve already changed for two other customers, who had the same model as you and the same problem. They’re very happy. Why don’t you go back and think about it. But you better be quick – I hope to hear from you within 2 days,” says the service assistant, sending us off with look of deep concern for our safety.

My room-mate’s car was acting up. It jerked and took some time to engage when she changed gears on the automatic transmission. So when we dropped it off for its regular service, we asked the friendly service assistant to make sure he had a look at that problem and ‘sort it out’.

We just didn’t realize that it would cost so much!

*******

We followed up that visit with some research on the internet and true enough, from around the globe buyers of this particular model had complained about its gearbox.

As dusty as it may be, I put on my lawyer’s cap and decided to write a letter of demand to the outlet that sold my precious the car. It demanded an explanation for what we deemed to be a latent defect in the product sold, and at the same time it recorded our utter disappointment in them not responding to our calls for an explanation.

Nearly a month later, a reply came, asking us to have the car checked at an authorised service centre. Funny I thought, an authorised centre is where we went to in the first place.

Anyway, just for fun, we looked for another one which was a bit further away. We told them the background and asked that they do a check on the gearbox. A thorough 160 ringgit check later and we were told that the gearbox was absolutely fine, we just needed to change the gear fluid which was dirty. 120 ringgit it would cost.

I was not angry. I has a feeling that this would be the likely outcome.

I’m just pissed.

Normally, I wouldn’t let something like this go. Unfortunately, the guy who very kindly offered us the 12K discount also has all our personal details, and god knows what more he’s capable of.

Therefore, all I can say is, don’t get cheated!

Don’t commit money, especially huge sums and at the behest of people who say you must do something as soon as possible. Always find out more about matters you’re not sure of, and a good starting point is the internet. Talk to those who may know more. In fact, I told a colleague this story and before I finished he told me it was most probably a fluid problem!

Learn to ask the right questions.

And learn to recognise a conman... :-)

I'm a Scholar...

2011-04-30T13:41:00.001+01:00

Get Me Out of Here!

Scholarships. Where one applies for financial support for one’s education and which usually comes with some sort of a compulsory service bond after successful completion of studies. Once the scholarship is granted, you spend the next 3 to 5 years studying (mostly) ((alrite, when you have the time)).

*******

I once had the privilege of being in the company of some brilliant scholars from various organisations who wanted my legal advice on a matter very dear to (their) heart. The idea was to present to the powers that be that brilliant scholars should not be bound by compulsory service bonds, because the organisations that gave them the scholarships are not in a position to give them jobs that make the best use of their intelligence and capabilities.

Nicely put, but…

“Wasn’t it clear when we signed the scholarship agreement that we would have to serve a bond?”

“Well, we were young then, not yet even 18, and didn’t know that we were signing our lives away.”

Wow.

“If you want to leave, just repay the amount spent on you, it’s quite easy really.”

“It’s a lot of money; they should let us go and consider it national service.”

Haha! Of course! Getting much sought after scholarships then being let off from the service bond so that one can make much more money elsewhere is national service.

Admittedly, there is a lot left to be desired on how the various organisations make use of these bright talents. But this is certainly not the solution - seeking to run away playing victim is quite pathetic actually. Quite likely they will continue to use the same solution for the rest of their lives when faced with similar situations.

******

Many high school graduates are now going through some form of scholarship application process, with assessments and interviews to face. At the end of it all, and I’m talking about 4 to 5 years down the road, remember your obligations. If for any reason you don’t want to serve your compulsory service bond, make sure you pay back the scholarship amount. There’s no shame in breaking your bond if you intend to pay it off. If you don’t want to be tied down to any organisation and don’t see yourself paying back the amount spent on you, then don’t take that scholarship which comes with a bond, please.

On the other hand, not getting a scholarship is difficult to accept especially when you feel you fully deserve it. It’s tough, and it takes a big person to accept it, and move on. But there seems to be a certain trend emerging, going somewhat like this:

You feel you deserve a scholarship and you get it – therefore the system works and you laud it.

You feel you deserve a scholarship and you don’t get it – therefore the system doesn’t work and you attack it.

I know I am generalising, but it is a dangerous mindset. I’ll tell you why, using a different setting but conveying the message nevertheless.

I came across once in a business context someone who said that I should do all I can to help his company secure a contract to “help the community”.

Most organisations are in business to make money. If I were to have my own business, that would be my aim as well. I was piqued to ask how is it that helping his company secure that contract translated to helping the community, as the profits would only accrue to his company and eventually line his pockets. The community may need ‘help’, but you are certainly not the conduit. I got an earful from the titled gentleman when I told him I couldn’t do anything to help his outfit.

I have seen many who did not get the scholarship they feel they deserved, or were not successful in getting contracts that some would argue they should get to ‘help’, eventually thrive in whatever it is they do. They are able to go beyond the entitlement mentality – because whether it’s securing a scholarship or making profits, how we go about doing it is a measure of the people we are.

ANGKAT TALI!!

2011-04-22T11:36:00.000+01:00

About a year ago, I heard some screaming and shouting from outside my office window. Being on the 17th floor… it got me to look down.

All the way down, I could see it – it was sports day at the school across the road, and the kids were doing the tug-of-war. It seemed like an entire class was battling another…

*****

When it comes to sports where I work, there are numerous games that pit the different business units against each other. Last year, I thought I’d do the easiest event, so that I can finally say I did a sport in the years here. I picked the tug-of-war – well known to be a 'sukan rakyat' or community sport.

The first day of training was intriguing. I was one of the first on the field, and there were four other unfamiliar guys there. They turned out to be military personnel who were to be our trainers, with the sergeant sporting the thick moustache being the head coach.

Training by the military...?

Day two, we had six men, and we had to pull against a tree. We lasted approximately 20 seconds against the tree before we ‘lost’ – one by one we started falling because we couldn’t keep up with a freaking tree that didn’t move! Possibly we were spent because we had to carry the tug-of-war rope that in itself was so heavy it needed three of us to carry it. Sergeant said we needed to move the tree to have any hope of winning...

We had many challenges. It was difficult to get 10 people who actually wanted to be part of the team. It was difficult to get all down to train and it’s no wonder when one drop of rain hitting our window at the office would set off a train of “It’s raining, no training today!”

Because we were quite hopeless at getting together to train, we decided that we’ll work on technique. We were told by sergeant that if we got our technique, and tactics, rights, it don’t matter how big our opponents were – we’d rumble them.

Come competition day, we definitely stood out. We had no uniform, no waist support belts… and we actually looked puny compared to some of the other teams…

Nevertheless, we heaved to wins in our group fixtures, and qualified for the semis. Here our opponents had necks the size of our thighs, and had the looks (think Kamawas in Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa). They were heavier, and so we could only win if we applied our tactics better than them.

Evenly matched, it was a long bout (we had come a long way from the day we lasted 20 seconds against the tree) but we eventually won 2-0 to qualify for the final.

At the final, we were up against the biggest guys. Since we had cut down a team bigger than us already, we were quietly confident that we could cause an upset. Physically they win hands down; but this was going to be about technique and tactic and we were going to use our brains. We’ll need to bring them to a third pull and therefore we needed to tire them out in the first two pulls.

In the best of three bout, the first tug was surprisingly not too exerting for us. We held on staunchly for a bit, before they pulled us over once they got some momentum going.

Never mind. They surely won’t be able to last. We need to stick to our tactics. Hold like crazy, and then hit them on the counter.

At the second pull, our tactics worked – for about 20 seconds before they annihilated us…

*******

Last year, in that school across the road, the class with the bulkier kids prevailed in the end…

The lesson?

Size does matter…!

This weekend is the tournament for 2011. We have been training, sort of. The tree won within 30 seconds of our first battle against it, and training over the past three days was cancelled because of the rain.

However, we’ve learnt our lessons. The boys are bulkier this time. Let’s see if those strategic calories we collectively gathered can be put to some good use... :-)

There is no love sincerer…

2011-04-11T12:09:00.000+01:00

than the love of food ~ George Bernard Shaw

If there’s one thing I love about my job, is that it’s capable of throwing up stuff that’s totally unexpected. At times, I have to do things I never imagined I would be paid to do. The adventure, the uncertainty, the adrenaline rush – you simply can’t make it up.

Therefore, when the invite came:

“Can you join the food tasting next Monday?”

My answer was, “Of course!”

You see, we needed a panel of experts to, well, taste the food that was proposed to be served at an event. A table of 10, and I was roped in.

On said day, I was delayed to arrive and the appetizer and soup had been served and the food tasting panel was into the main course.

As I quickly sampled through the appetizer and soup, I didn’t pay attention to the conversation swirling around at that moment.

After I finished the main course of fish and chicken and having caught up with the rest course-wise, I was asked how it was.

“The fish was ok, the chicken was… how shall I say it… leathery.”

There was a stunned silence around the table.

“You probably meant the chicken was gamey?” offered a colleague.

Gamey? Is that a proper adjective for food?

“Yea, gamey…”

“And the fish was bad! All of us, all of us, thought so!”

I looked at the plates around the table. Everyone had fish leftover, a couple had it nearly untouched. I looked at my plate. It was wiped clean.

“Oh… yea, it tasted a bit funny I thought…”

I looked at the form we had to fill up. For each dish we had to comment on taste, texture, look, amongst others. This was more difficult than my corporate finance paper darn it!

Needless to say, I was sacked from the food-tasting committee soon thereafter, having represented my dorm house on the food committee in my college days notwithstanding :-(

*******

A number of months later, when a few people unavoidably dropped out of a food-tasting panel for another function, I was hesitantly roped in to make up the numbers.

The pressure to perform was immense.

Butterflies in my stomach did not help, but a good start always does: “The wantan’s too big; I think it would perhaps be more appropriate for it to be smaller in order for the diner to be able to put the whole piece into the mouth without having to bite a chunk of it and thereafter let the remainder fall into bowl or be engaged in the cutting of the wantan in the bowl of soup”.

Then came the moment of truth, the main course and they looked at me for comment.

“The vegetables look… tired.”

A brief moment of silence.

“Yes I agree! Chef, boiling them doesn’t work, sauté them perhaps,” chirps in a colleague.

In the annals of my comebacks, this ranks at the top of my list, baby!

I sincerely love food, George.

*******

I was told by a food connoisseur that when it comes to food, smell and colour come first before taste. Yes, even with food, love at first sight applies. The first two can and usually do determine your appetite. Good taste may not matter if the smell and colour let the dish down.

Wait, that applies to humans too!

Oh God let me win…

2011-04-04T11:57:00.004+01:00

but if I don’t win, let me make the other guy break the Olympic record.

I have a little book in which I write down intriguing quotes I come across. I read something today that I knew instantly should go into that little book.

I’ve been filling up the book for 12 years now, and I have a good collection of quotes in there. Many of the more inspiring and amusing ones come from the world of or related to sports.

I’m sure you’ll agree from the following…

*******

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
Mohammad Ali

“I was full of expectations for every single member of the team. Some of them lived up to those expectations, and the others exceeded them.”
Sam Torrence on winning the Golf Writers Trophy for 2002 for Europe’s 15 ½ - 12 ½ triumph over America in the Ryder Cup at the Belfry in September

“To use the old adage, the 31 year old looked capable of starting a fight in an empty room.”
A comment on Roy Keane

“What you achieve in life, echoes in eternity.”
Liverpool banner at the Cardiff Stadium during the Worthington Cup Final on 2 March 2003 where Liverpool beat Manchester United 2-0

“The difference between dreams and accomplishments is purely desire.”
World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)

“Twenty years ago or so, I was walking through Harvard Square in Cambridge Massachusetts, and I walked past a huge poster in a window. The poster looked like a scene from Chariots of Fire, there was a chap in a 20s or 30s running costume, breasting a tape and across the top it had a very American motto. It said ‘Oh God let me win.’ I sympathise. And across the bottom, it said ‘but if I don’t win, let me make the other guy break the Olympic record’.

He did that, didn’t he?”
David Davis, in his speech after losing the election to be Conservative Party leader to David Cameron, December 2005

“I never predict anything, and I never will.”
Paul Gascoigne

“A man who someday no doubt will orchestrate a hostile takeover of hell once he gets there.”
Jim Ross, WWE Announcer, on Vince McMahon, WWE Chairman, at Summer Slam 2006

“That day in March 1996 when you married her in this church, you won the greatest trophy of your life.”
Rev. Jim Frazer to Darren Clarke, European Ryder Cup player, who lost his wife to cancer in August 2006

“If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at FC Porto – beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
Jose Mourinho, Chelsea manager

“There’s never been a guy who has more fight in his heart and grit in his soul, he wears scars like badges of honour, he smells like smoke ‘cause he’s been through fire and dammit this is where he’s home and that’s in battle.”
John Bradshaw Layfield on the Undertaker (before his match against Batista) at Wrestlemania 23

“Any Champions League semi-final defeat is a killer but to lose in a penalty shootout is death by a thousand cuts.”
The Sun, after Liverpool beat Chelsea 4-1 on penalties on 1 May 2007 (the tie finished 1-1 on aggregate)

“I want to at least be in a position where I’m able to win.”
Michael Schumacher

“We used to try and prove people wrong – but now we’re proving them right.”
Alex McLeish, Scotland coach, after Scotland beat Ukraine 3-1 at Hampden Park in a Euro 2008 qualifier on 13 October 2007

“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business but I was in the top one.”
Brian Clough, Football Manager (1935-2004) – my personal favourite!

“Occasionally, the train goes past and you must catch it because it will never come back, and that’s true even when it is passing at an inopportune moment.”
Juande Ramos, quoting an old saying, on the night he quit as Sevilla manager for Tottenham Hotspur

“I’m the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.”
Bret Hart of the WWE

“I was the equivalent of the first man on the Moon. He’s the equivalent of the first on Mars.”
Mark Spitz, winner of 7 gold medals at the 1992 Munich Olympics, on Michael Phelps’ 8 gold medals at Beijing 2008

"He has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years so it's time we carried him on our shoulders."
India batsman Virat Kohli summing up the feelings of a grateful nation, when they hoisted Sachin Tendulkar on to their shoulders and carried him around for a lap of honour at Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai after India beat Sri Lanka in the final of the 2011 Cricket World Cup Final

Class of 2010

2011-03-09T06:30:00.004Z

My sisters and brothers of the class of 2010,

Be humble

You reap what you sow

In a new place
Remember where you come from
Remember you come in what form

Get familiar with the people
You never know who can help you put up a great show
You never know who can help your dreams grow

Life is delicious
So make it delectable

Write

Be prepared to meet all sorts of people
In all sorts of places

Learn from the experiences of others
Especially when they are willing to share

Ask

Surround yourself with inspiring characters
They may just inspire you

When you do
Don’t lose sight of the purpose
Of why you do

Plan and prepare
But be prepared to change and adapt
But still create wealth

Give
Unconditionally

Trust
Everybody
Or nobody?

Remember the masks people wear
Remember the masks you wear

Do battle in war
But remember those you protect
And those who protect you

Communicate
Even to those who can’t see you
Even to those who can’t hear you
They are the ones who could help build the hut of your dreams

Survive

Fight for your rights
Fight for what you believe is right

Appreciate the value of others
and the value of yourself

Don't underestimate
what you can learn from others
Don't underestimate
what others can learn from you

Fly

Go outside sometimes
And do battle with the elements

Cake yourself in mud!

Go right to the top sometimes
And enjoy the view

Paint

Explore
But have a map
If you know where you’re going
It’ll be easier to get there
If you know what you’re looking for
It’ll be easier to find

Stay

Partake in the simple joys of others
It may make you smile too

Dance
(Even if it makes you look like a bat out of a cave)

Practice

Practice, many more times

Perform
like it really matters

Be prepared
for
surprises
along the way

But
nail
the
performance
nevertheless

Celebrate!
In more ways than one

Embrace your results
But promise yourself
You will move on quick

It's not too long
It's not too short
a time
It's what you do with time

Remember
Treasure
As time goes by

But always
be
humble.

While her loyal sons are marching…

2011-01-18T12:38:00.005Z

On 18 January 1904, what I call the greatest school in Malaysia was formed with 18 boys.

St. John’s Institution is 107 today.

I enrolled in St. John’s in 1985, starting off in Primary 1, and left in 1995, having completed Secondary 5. Two times I nearly left, once to join a military college for Secondary 1, and then a private college for Secondary 4 and 5. Fate conspired to keep me at St. John's, and become a true-blue Johannian.

St. John’s’ primary and secondary schools are housed in separate buildings. Having stood for such a long time, they are obviously haunted to the core. The primary school has a huge hall that no student must be in alone lest they disturb the mysterious guy who keeps jumping on the trampoline at backstage. The secondary school building, with its imposing red and white facade and finally basking in its rightful status as a listed building, is simply awesome – though haunted as well. All good schools are.

The school holds many memories for me. I spent 11 years of my life there, which is more than a third of my current whole life.

Such was life at St. John’s that one just had to do stuff outside the classroom. A lot of stuff. I was a proud member of the Cadet Corps for my five secondary years. This Cadet Corps is believed to be the first in Malaya, formed in 1915. The pinnacle of my time in the corps was when we trumped our fiercest rivals to get the honour of the best cadet corps in the Klang Valley in 1994. The cadet expo held the next year together with our brothers in the Cadet Band also holds fond memories for we pulled off something major with limited resources and minimum guidance from anyone. I still rank the team I was part of then as one of the most efficient teams I’ve worked in.

Being a member of the prefectorial board was also fun. I will always remember the raids we conducted, to go after friends who smoked and those playing truant. The story of some students jumping onto one bus, and prefects jumping onto the next bus to continue the chase sounded amazing the first time I heard it, and still sounds bizarre today.

There were characters among the teaching staff at St. John’s that we would remember for the rest of our lives. From the man who, always for a good reason, passionately called nearly every student a coconut, to the lady who gave biology a new meaning to 15 year olds with her frankness, we had all kinds.

Of course, we had good neighbours – our sisters at the all-girl Convent Bukit Nanas. There was a lot of exchange going on between the two schools, and it helped keep Jalan Bukit Nanas fresh ;-) A year or so after I left St. John’s, I asked a friend’s sister, a CBNer who was in the year below me, who in my batch was the most talked about Johannian at CBN. She started off by saying, “Definitely not you coz I’ve never heard your name”.

A few years ago, I was a guest at a company annual dinner where the theme was 'back to school'. One of the senior staff lost a game of musical chairs and as punishment had to sing his school anthem. When he took the mic and asked, “Is there any other Johannian in the house!?”, without hesitation I rushed onto the stage to join him to belt out the best school song there is out there.

I have never sung in public again, but the song is superb.

I have a plaque in my office commemorating the school’s centenary in 2004. When another senior member of management entered my room not too long ago, being a Johannian himself, he launched into a friendly tirade about how great we are. The opportunity was too great to miss – I pointed out a colleague who studied at our greatest rivals and together, we attacked him mercilessly.

Yet another time, when hosting a company event with about a thousand attendees, an opportunity came up for me to surreptitiously say that St. John’s was a great school. A surprising number of people cheered at that, of course outnumbered by the friendly booing – but after the event, there was an impromptu gathering of Johannians!

Thousands of boys (and some girls) have walked through the corridors of St. John’s. The legacy of the school lives on in its sons and daughters. Many have gone on to serve and are serving the country with distinction in many fields, and included in this list is Malaysia’s current supremo. From my cohort, many are now successful in their own right, a few we occasionally get to read about in the newspapers and magazines, and I would say a more than average number are stars. A number have passed on, some tragically, and they are remembered.

It’s obvious I’m very proud of my school. There’s something special about being a Johannian, and this feeling of pride seems to grow stronger as we mature. Johannians will always have a special bond with each other, and this transcends the years.

I haven’t stepped foot into St John’s for a fair number of years now. I will visit soon. And this time I will bring my Convent Light Street Penang roommate :-)

Until then, Fide et Labore!

Man in the mirror

2011-01-17T13:16:00.002Z

One of my all time favourite songs - together with 'Home' by Michael Buble.

Cept I never really knew what the lyrics said.

Well, today, I decided to check it out... and here it is...

*******

I'm gonna make a change
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good
gonna make a difference, gonna make it right

As I turned up the collar on my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street with not enought to eat
Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their need?

A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top
And one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know?
'Cause they got nowhere to go, that's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be, really me, pretending that they're not alone?

A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed out dream
(Washed out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see
'Cause they got no place to be that's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that
change!

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, oh yeah
I'm asking him to change his ways, yeah
(Come on, change)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change

You gotta get it right, while you got the time
'Cause when you close your heart
(You can't close your, your mind)
Then you close your mind

With the man in the mirror, oh yeah
(That man, that man, that man)
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Change)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change

I'm gonna make a change
It's gonna feel real good
Come on
(Change)
Just lift yourself
You know, you've got to stop it yourself
(Yeah)

Make that change
(I gotta make that change today, oh)
(Man in the mirror)
You got to, you got to not let yourself, brother oh
Yeah, that man
(Make that change)
(I gotta make that make me then make)
You got, You got to move
Come on, come on
You got to stand up, stand up, stand up
(Make that change)
Stand up and lift yourself, now
(Man in the mirror)
Make that change
(Gonna make that change, come on)
(Man in the mirror)
You know it, you know it, you know it, you know it
Change, make that change.

*******

Yep, it still remains ;-)

RIP MJ.

Together…

2011-01-12T05:44:00.009Z

over the oceans.

On this day last year, I stepped foot on the beautiful islands of Maldives for the first time ever.

As always, trips to faraway places bring sweet memories.

If anyone tells you that the Maldives is amazingly beautiful and breathtaking, its people warm and friendly, its air fresh, its sea blue, that it’s paradise on earth – well I can confirm that it’s true.

If you ask what visitors to Maldives do - you’ve got the concept wrong. In Maldives, one must perfect the art of doing nothing. Yea that’s right. We understood this clearly when we asked that very question a few days in to the guy who runs the resort on the island we were on.

*******

Part of doing nothing includes snorkeling.

Having decided to call it a day of snorkeling, I began climbing up onto the boat. It was at that moment I felt my left contact lens sort of peeling away from my eyeball.

I took off my goggles, and true enough, it had come off, probably because some sea water had come in contact with it and caused it to shrivel.

I looked up the boat, and my three Maldivian snorkeling bodyguards were peering at me with concern.

I couldn’t salvage the contact lens anymore - it was contaminated and couldn’t go back onto my eyeball. Never mind, I thought, I’ve got another pair, before dropping it into the sea.

I continued lumbering up to the deck of the boat, and it wasn’t easy with my flippers and all. At the same time, I could hear some commotion on the deck.

The moment I got on deck, I noticed there were only two people on deck. Where the heck was the other one??

And then I saw the dude. He had dived over the other side of the boat… to save my contact lens!!

*******

If you were young at my time, you would know the Thundercats (come out with the movie already!).

I loved it, although I actually had to go to Wikipedia a couple of years ago to finally understand the storyline.

Anyway, I have this one black t-shirt with the Thundercats logo emblazoned on it.

With a t-shirt like this, you don’t need to say hello. People, men and women regardless which part of the world they come from, can’t help but smile, especially when you’re on an island where you get end-to-end in 7½ minutes. You’re like a shrink cajoling people to go back in their mind to a happy place. And they do…

And when I wore this:
someone wearing this:
said, "Nice t-shirt." I said,"Yours too!"

*******

At the International Airport, while my roommate was checking out the souvenir shop, I was sitting guarding our bags. I couldn’t but overhear the conversation going on between an aunt and her nephew.

"Do you love you mum?"
(I assume he said no, because I wasn’t looking)

"Do you love your dad?"
(I assume he said yes - see conversation that follows)

"You love your dad and not your mum?"

"Do you know that your mum and I, we never saw much of our dad because he was working so hard…"

"You hate your mum because she didn’t get you what you wanted?!"

"I think your mum deserves an apology from you!"

All the while, I was listening, thinking to myself that this aunt was doing a great job putting into perspective the little boy’s misguided hate towards his mum. The boy was crying yes, and the aunt was bringing him on a long guilt trip, but sometimes, kids these days need that. They need reality to slap them real good, kick them real hard, and make them sweat.

And for goodness sake, your mum had brought you on a holiday to the Maldives!!

*******

Maldives though, is under threat of global warming – its beautiful islands could sink beneath the ocean within 100 years. They had a cabinet meeting undersea this one time in October 2009 to highlight the threat of global warming to their nation. I hear they have a youngish cabinet and hopefully they get to the depth of the issue soon.

You see, I would like to go back there one day, and really hope the coconut tree we planted by the beach would not be growing out from the seabed instead…

For last year's words belong to last year's language...

2010-12-29T09:06:00.005Z

...and next year's words await another voice ~ T.S. Eliot

I recently attended a meeting and then had lunch with some fine old gentlemen. People who have done much, and achieved much. To put it into context, some of them have contributed so much to nation-building that I cannot imagine doing the same in 7 lifetimes.

And to put it into further context – all that they have done can be jeopardised by a few idiots pointing laser lights onto the faces of our opponents on the football field.

Muttaals.

Some serious matters were discussed at the meeting and over lunch, but along the way, some morsels of wisdom – to me at least, to them it’s probably coffee talk - were shared by these mostly mid to late seventies statesmen. It reminded me that nothing beats experience.

On going up the corporate ladder
“There are many ways to go up...”

and looking me directly in the eye…

“… but not all are ethical.”

“My boss set very high standards - even if it was a small amount like 3 ringgit, he would make sure he paid it back if the spending was of a personal nature – because it was the people’s money. But it’s not like that today.”

On local football
When I asked if they had followed the Asean Football Federation Cup final between Malaysia and Indonesia, among the first things said was “It’s painful to hear people talk about us and say ‘don’t behave like them’…”

On coffeehouse chains
“I don’t understand the young people these days, they’re willing to spend RM15 on a mug of coffee. What’s wrong with the RM1.50 ones?”

To which another said, “They’re not being sold coffee; they’re being sold a life-style.”

On recent developments
“I started having this allergy recently. About 20 years ago.”

On youth
“You pamper the young too much. Give them responsibilities!”
(ironically, that was directed at me!)

On Myanmar
“We were brave enough to take risks back then.”

I had strong views against certain things they said, but more of the time I was listening and making mental notes.

A man's age is something impressive, it sums up his life: maturity reached slowly and against many obstacles, illnesses cured, griefs and despairs overcome, and unconscious risks taken; maturity formed through so many desires, hopes, regrets, forgotten things, loves. A man's age represents a fine cargo of experiences and memories. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

:-)

Those who ignore history are bound to repeat it. So, may you remember and be given the strength to not repeat what you should not.

Happy 2011!

Let our voice be heard!

2010-11-17T09:31:00.002Z

Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to stand for the Student Voice and represent this class!

Firstly………

If you vote for me I will help you to achieve all your goals and we will do it in a fun and orderly way.

Secondly……

I will include all of you as a team and we will achieve our goals together!

Thirdly………

I will make the whole process a wonderful and enjoyable experience for all of us!

Fourthly………

I will do my best to make us study hard and have fun at the same time!

My Fifth reason is………

I will also include some sporting activities to keep us fit and healthy!

My Sixth reason is …

I will help you to become confident and creative in your work!

My Seventh reason is …

If you vote for me WE will make this class the best class in the whole school!!!!!

If I am elected…..

I will know you all better and become close to all of you !

I wish all the candidates…

All the BEST!!!!!!!!!!

I am very lucky…

To have such wonderful friends and an amazing teacher!

Yours Dearly.

*******

Campaign speech of an eight year old standing for a class election.

She has my vote :-)

And...

I want her to be my speech-writer!

Some mistakes are too much fun...

2010-11-12T12:23:00.002Z

to only make once.

One evening, while waiting to get into an auditorium to watch a theatre performance with some friends, I got a call from a colleague who was to join us. I could barely hear her, as there was an alarm blaring at the background. She sounded that bit frantic.

You see, there is a car park behind our office building. While pretty safe in the day, it gets dark and creepy at night. As she was making her way across the car park to get to her car, she saw some men hanging around the area, so she hurried. In fiddling for her car keys, she accidently set the alarm off and inexplicably lost the remote. So there she was, getting late for the show, alone in a car that wouldn’t start with its alarms blaring, in a creepy car park with men hanging around nearby, wondering if I could help.

Together with another friend, I rushed to the scene in my car. It was easy to locate her car as the car park was almost empty. We went over and she emerged. She had found the remote and had shut off the alarm, but the car refused to start. I got the keys from her and tried to fiddle around, seeing if I could somehow get it to start, but it couldn’t work.

“We’ll sort this out later I guess. You can follow us; we can still be there before the show starts”.

“Err… there’s someone else coming,” she says.

I looked at her, puzzled. “What for? We’re here.”

“Well, I called him as well.”

“Ok, you can tell him not to come. We got to catch the show. Don’t want to miss the start!”

She makes a call, and then comes back to us.

“He was on the way to Malacca, but turned around when he found out I was stuck… so he’s going to come here anyway.”

Hmm… this sounded fishy. Probably a stalker I thought. I’ll handle him. So we waited.

Soon enough, another car comes into the car park, and a gentleman alights.

‘Looks decent’, I thought. But then again, so do all men. After some introductions, at which I did pretty well to keep my suspicions under wraps, the discussion was on what to do next.

He offered to drop her home. I was having none of it.

“She’s coming with us, we’ve got a show to catch. You can go back to Malacca. Nice meeting you.”

I had spoken and that was it.

As we reached the theatre, another friend who was waiting for us asked what happened.

“I’ll tell you later, but thank god we reached there when we did!”

*******

To find out three weeks later that those two just started going out was…

The good thing is they had a good laugh about it that night itself (and till today, still do). They even asked me to speak at their wedding.

What are the odds of something of a similar genre happening to me again?

Well, once every 7 years it seems!

A few months ago, another guy told me that he was going out with someone, and to find that those two just started going out was…

He told me yesterday that they are going to get engaged to be married.

I’m not at liberty to share the details of the story, but suffice to say, one sequel is more than enough for me!

One small step for a bachelor...

2010-10-28T12:57:00.005+01:00

one giant leap for a married man.

One of the biggest adjustments I had to make in my life after taking my matrimonial vows was converting my bachelor's pad into a couple's room.

Let me put things in perspective...

*******

This happened a few years ago.

I had to renew my car's road tax. For this, you needed the car's registration card, which in Malaysia, is pink in colour.

I looked for it around my room, and couldn't find it. I looked for it around my office and couldn't find it.

A few days on, after many hours of searching, when I was already driving with an expired road tax, I still couldn't locate that pink card!!

One afternoon soon after, I told my mum I was going to the police station to make a police report.

"Why??"

"I lost my car registration card..."

"How did you lose it?"

"I don't know, I just can't find it in the room."

"Oh... trying checking under the bed."

Huh?

I ran up to my room, straddled the bed, heaved the planks off and I couldn't believe the sight that greeted my eyes...

More than half my stuff was under the bed! A short search later and I found that pink card.

I asked mum, "When did you move my stuff??"

"We cleaned your room about 3 months ago when you were away".

Owh.

And I had no idea...!

*******

Now that I've got a room-mate, everything is in place and of course so much neater - which means I've lost all bearings and can't find anything!

The day the earth trembled...

2010-09-30T13:27:00.003+01:00

"We're used to earthquakes, two, three times every year. But this time it was different. Usually the ground moves sideways, causing no damage, or minimal damage. This time the ground moved up and down. The houses were lifted and then simply crumbled to the ground. It was like as if someone pulled the carpet from below our feet..."

*******

We were on the 17th floor and we felt the building tremble. And this was in Kuala Lumpur.

Exactly a year ago today, the devastating earthquake struck Padang in West Sumatera, Indonesia.

Two weeks later, I found myself in Padang, on a relief mission.

I was there for nearly a week, doing what we were sent there to do.

I would send a report back to headquarters every night. This would be followed by my daily... err... musings. Which included these:

Day 1
- Teh telor* oh my goodness it's like milkshake. A night drink they say it is before laughing...
- Satay Padang is delicious! Altho they don't call it Satay Padang here... that would be weird.
- We sleep 16 men in one house. 5 are on their way back from Pekan Baru, and some sleep in the garden. So house is relatively quiet now.
- We all share 1 bathroom. For this reason and the point preceding, this place not suitable for my ladies.
- I'm still wide awake. Teh telor memang power.

*teh telor means egg tea :-)

Day 2
Without the benefit of teh telor...
- Our house has no fan.
- To those who wondered why my haircut was as important as getting my vaccinations: with two strokes of my 80 cents plastic hair brush, I'm ready to face the world.
- We had a meeting tonight to plot the distribution of aid tomorrow. They were doin mental calculations on total weight and total litres and total items... I kept very quiet.

Day 3
- I was awakened at 3am last night, by a cat at my feet. No privacy I tell you.
- And the resident cockerel woke me up at the crack of dawn. Nothing romantic at all about that.
- School is back in session. They hold classes in tents. It feels like a sauna tho. When I reached there, they were on a break. In the teachers room, where the wall had collapsed, the kids were playing with a mannequin. They wrapped it in a batik cloth, and then carried the mannequin while chanting religious chants, as if it were a dead body.
- We had lunch today at a restaurant that had major cracks on its walls, had its windows shattered and floors cracked as well.
- For the first time in ages, I eat for energy. I can feel each morsel of food burn during the day. And we reach meal times famished. And we whack the meal like there's no tomorrow.
- The names of the places here will give lawyers like some of us nightmares. One place is called 2 x 11 Enam Lingkung. You actually call it that!
- I nearly fainted today. At dinner. The cendol in a glass. It was so sweet I nearly belched it out.

Day 4
- The cat woke me up at 2.58am
- The most bizzare incident so far - the cook cooking his Indo-mee with ... coffee.

HAHAHA!

In his defence, it was dark.

HAHAHA!

Day 5
No musings on Day 5 as things got a little complicated. We were about half-an-hour from our base late that night, after a long day out, when we were stopped by police. We were told that a few hundred metres down the road, a landslide had occured a few minutes prior, burying some passing cars. We had to take a 4 hour detour.

A couple of weeks later, when everyone involved in the mission got together, one of my team members 'credited' me with saving all our lifes.

"Thank god he insisted on eating good Padang fish head curry that night. It took us a while to locate one that had fish head curry, but we finally did. The time it took us all to finish the meal probably delayed us long enough."

Hmmm...

******

I haven't been back to Padang since, but having seen the devastation caused by that one afternoon of terror, the people of Padang have a long way to go, years perhaps, before life returns to some semblence of normalcy.

One elderly gentleman I met there said that he welcomed all aid, but he knew that the aid would eventually stop and that he needed to start rebuilding his life with his own hands, brick by brick.

And he meant it literally.

God bless the people of Padang.

About Young, The Restless...

2010-09-20T13:48:00.007+01:00

I've been with a particular four-letter acronymed NGO since its formation 10 years ago. I've been through a lot with it.

And I have garnered an incredible amount of lessons from it.

Today, as I was doing some work related to this NGO, I recalled some of those lessons... :-)

*******

The first one involves a close friend, someone who has been with me in the NGO from early on.

At a meeting, we disagreed on how to proceed with a project. The disagreement got quite uncomfortable. We exchanged views, each time with the tone raising a few decibles. The rest of the meeting was watching in stunned silence. One pleaded for us to stop arguing. The verbal sparring got ugly.

As we were getting nowhere, we decided to stop and simply disagreed.

After which we had coffee and cakes prepared by his wife.

It's not easy, these things, as professional discourse that gets nasty may be construed or unavoidably degenerate into a personal attack.

I've seen it numerous times: people saying 'don't take things personally' before going on a personal rampage; or after going on a personal rampage, they say 'don't take it personally'. You've got to be careful, as not all relationships can take it, what more if the personal and professional nature of the relationship is intertwined.

But if your intentions are right, and you are fighting for what you truly believe in, and you have others who fight for things with a similar conviction, than those could survive such violent clashes.

Yep, and you can help plaster each other's verbal wounds over a hot drink, glad that the relationship is still solid despite.

**********************

It was at our annual meeting, seven years into our formation. We're a small NGO, still slowly finding our way, doing little things, and sometimes we get delirously happy with the little successes that come our way.

At the meeting, a member gets up and demands change in the leadership. Demands that the younger members be given the opportunity to lead. Feels that it is time for fresh ideas to be injected into the society. That the leadership has been at the helm for too long.

Up to that point, I've only read about these moments in the papers, or hear them over the news. Here, it was happening real time!

He had a point. Leaders must not overstay their welcome. And yes, fresh ideas are needed, as someone who's been running the show for too long may hold the organisation back from progressing.

Change is good, sometimes change is needed, but change for the sake of change because it feels like it's time for change - may not always work!

**********

This one is a little convoluted, but is one of my favourite lessons, which I have shared at numerous occasions with different people.

A small debt was incurred by one of two new members in one of our programmes.

The first one denied it, saying it was probably the second one. The second one also denied it, and was in tears as the other had said it could be her.

Some investigate work later... and we found out that it was the first one.

My big boss, a retired police officer, was furious. He called the first one, and over her continued denials (possibly she was too embarrassed to retract her denial), ripped into her.

He then turned to me and said that she must be expelled from our NGO and never be allowed to return. I was taken aback, as the amount of money in question was not that much at all (not enough to even buy a small meal at your favourite fast food joint).

He says when someone lies, they will be a liar for life. Because to cover your lies, you must continue lying. So the mind is tuned to lying over and over again. And it becomes a habit. She may only be 17, and it may only have been a small amount, but because of what she chose to do, she will forever have to propagate this lie with us. Being expelled from the NGO after having been welcomed into it just a few hours before is a harsh, harsh lesson. If she stops her lying habit, then it would have been worth the harsh action. It she doesn't, then it would have been good riddance.

Some may disagree, but the principle here I still adhere to.

*******

At the end of the day, it's the people that matter.

Over the oceans...

2010-09-03T16:23:00.002+01:00

The past couple of days had been quite hectic, and stand out for my deprivation of sleep.

So getting onto the flight this morning was something I was looking forward to, as it meant I could get a few hours of very welcome sleep.

As I was settling in my seat, someone says. “Hey bro, how’re you doing?”

I look up and it’s the elder brother of a friend of mine (yep, the same guy who emceed that friend’s wedding that I wrote about in my previous posting).

“I’m ok! Where’re you heading to?”

“Err… to the same place you’re heading to … I guess…”

Well of course, we’re in a plane.

“I’ll catch you later yea…” he says as he moves down the aisle.

I must get out more often.

*******

This reminded me of something I said a few years ago.

Guest: Hi, I don't think we've met.

Me: I don't think I've met you before either...

Beautiful warnings...

2010-08-16T15:45:00.004+01:00

It's been a cacophony of weddings this past month!

The first two of three were interracial.

The second one was of a friend I've known since I was five (who also happens to be one of three friends I've known longest in my life). The trouble with having your elder brother emcee your wedding is having things like this said about you:

"My brother was not a particularly ugly baby, but my mum started having morning sickness after he was born."

;-)

A couple of Sunday's ago, I attended a third, very purple, wedding.

I was seated beside an elderly lady, whom I discovered was related to the groom.

From her eyes, I could sense she was one steely lady. Across the night she shared some lovely stories. How she had not even seen a picture of her husband, what more met him, before the day of their marriage. In fact, she had asked the equivalent of her bridesmaid to describe her husband to her on the day of the wedding itself, but when her mum found out, she was scolded.

"Why? You have someone else to compare him to, is it??"

She told me that the first words her husband uttered to her when he first saw her after the solemnisation of the marriage were words to the following effect:

"Please accept me as your husband. I want to live my whole life with you and die in your arms."

My goodness. What words.

God is great, and his words did come true, as he died in her arms when he suddenly passed away at their new home, two weeks after retiring and having just moved to KL from Penang.

The lady continued her stories and one thing struck me hard. She said she missed the old days when we were all much closer.

"Nowadays, we're so busy with everything; we've got no time for family."

"Whenever I see the younger ones, they always say 'How're you' and that's about it. Well, I say to hell with your 'how are yous'!

"If that's all you're going to say to me, better not say anything!"

I nodded in agreement with what she said. The younger generation is becoming like that.

Aunty, I don't know your name, but the next time I meet you, you are definitely getting more than a 'how are you' from me.

Ramadhan Mubarak. When Eid comes around and you meet your aunties and uncles, remember, something more than a 'how are you?' this year ok...

The appearance of a disease is swift as an arrow...

2010-05-24T16:42:00.000+01:00

its disappearance slow, like a thread.

~ Chinese Proverb.

A friend once told me that in Britain, if someone says "how're you doing?", the correct reply should be a "how're you doing?" as well. At least to the elders...

I'm not too sure about that, but I practiced it for a while. I did it for a while here in Malaysia as well, but stopped because people didn't really get me.

Anyway, today I met colleague whom I hadn't met for about a month.

"How're you doing?" I ask.

"I just had a stroke," he mumbled with difficulty.

I was stunned.

"When?"

"3 weeks ago."

He proceeds to show me how one side of his face is paralysed. He takes off his glasses and blinks, but only one eye blinks.

"How come you're back at work?"

"I can't sit still at home. I'm still undergoing treatment though."

He explains that one side of his body was slightly affected, and he can't carry stuff with that hand.

I've come across people I know who've suffered a stroke. But seeing this friend - it messed me up a bit.

Back home, I wikiepedia-ed stroke.

A stroke (sometimes called a cerebrovascular accident (CVA)) is the rapidly developing loss of brain function(s) due to disturbance in the blood supply to the brain, caused by a blocked or burst blood vessel. This can be due to ischemia (lack of blood flow) caused by thrombosis or arterial embolism or due to a hemorrhage. As a result, the affected area of the brain is unable to function, leading to inability to move one or more limbs on one side of the body, inability to understand or formulate speech, or inability to see one side of the visual field.

A stroke is a medical emergency and can cause permanent neurological damage, complications, and death. It is the leading cause of adult disability in the United States and Europe. It is the number two cause of death worldwide and may soon become the leading cause of death worldwide. Risk factors for stroke include advanced age, hypertension (high blood pressure), previous stroke or transient ischemic attack (TIA), diabetes, high cholesterol, cigarette smoking and atrial fibrillation. High blood pressure is the most important modifiable risk factor of stroke.

Goodness.

I'll be ready...

2010-04-20T11:46:00.000+01:00

never you fear.

When I wrote in my last post about the tree incident that happened a few weeks ago, it reminded me of this incident that happened a few years ago :-)

*******

"It's the block of offices after Baywatch..."

This was not sun-drenched Miami, or wherever it was that the Baywatch we all know was supposed to have been set, but rain-drenched Kelana Jaya.

"Did you just say Baywatch??"

Apparently, this Baywatch is a food court. I was going to meet a friend at his office one evening after work and that was the landmark.

*******

I was walking back to my car that was parked along the road outside the block. As I was walking, I saw that a minor accident had happened. I figured out from the scene that the BMW was waiting to make a u-turn, and the souped up 20-year old Mitsubishi clipped the BMW when the driver tried to overtake the BMW at the u-turn.

Very stupid.

The passengers from both cars were already outside and there was a shouting match going on, but it was mostly in Mandarin. The BMW driver was a 30-something guy, and he seemed to have a 58-year old uncle as his passenger. The Mitsubishi had four boys, all in their late-teens. I walked past the commotion towards my car.

I got into my car (Proton Satria 1.3GLS, manual tranmission, manual windows as well). Swung it around, and would have to pass the accident scene before I reached the junction to the main road.

As I drove past the scene, I was bloody shocked to see what was going on...

Uncle was holding one of the young boys, the driver presumably, by his throat! The boy's feet were nearly off the ground... and his friends seemed rooted by fear where they were. The BMW driver was screaming at uncle to stop (or egging him on, not sure)... but uncle was beating up the boy.

This called for some intervention! I ground my car to a halt, just outside Baywatch, and jumped out. The screaming that was going-on attracted some of the Baywatch life-guards... eh I mean waiters, to come out and see what was going on.

"Come-on!!!" I screamed at them before running to intervene.

As we got closer and closer, I was thinking what we should do... we can't simply barge in and starting beating up uncle, can we?

The best is just get in between uncle and the poor boy who was still being held by his neck.

"Hoi!!!" I screamed while still running, to get uncle's attention. "Stop! Hoi! Stop!"

Ok better tell the others that there's no turning back and we should just jump in ....

Turned to face the Baywatch dudes just behind me...

... and I saw nothing...

... not a single person ...

... oh wait, I can make them out, there they are... still just outside Baywatch eagerly waiting to see what I would do.

Turned to the front again, and there was uncle, having let go of the boy, looking at me.

He moved forward. I began to retreat.

Then uncle gave a couple of flying kicks to the Mitsubishi (could have been my face).

Then he cursed at the boys, before getting into the BMW. The driver got in as well, and they drove off.

The four boys looked very relieved that uncle had gone away... last I remember they were looking for a lost slipper.

I went back to my car, ignoring the Baywatch onlookers. As I drove back, I was thinking.

It's not easy being a David Hasselhoff.

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it...

2010-04-13T16:37:00.007+01:00

does it make a sound?

*****

The torrential rain in KL has been really something to speak about. The roads turn into rivers. Sometimes you wonder what the city would be like if drains didn’t exist.

I was driving one day about 3pm with a colleague, to a hotel for a meeting, when we got caught in a traffic crawl. This was within earshot of my employer’s headquarters mind you (as if this fact was a sign of anything…). The rain was so heavy that the view from my windscreen was a blur despite the valiant efforts of my 15 year old wipers at full speed to remove the raindrops away. The road I was on is usually completely shaded by the 50 to 60 foot lush trees. One of those cosy roads that you love to drive on. Now the lashing rain made the trees sway madly.

The SUV in front of my car moves, and I move my car too. Suddenly, I see a 20 feet long branch snap off and come crashing down on the SUV. The SUV shudders to a stop, and so do I.

For what seemed an eternity, I sat there, thinking what a close call that was. Then it dawned on me that the driver of the SUV may be squished! I got out of my car, jinked to the back to get my umbrella - before realising that I can’t do a rescue mission holding an umbrella! I was already drenched hand, foot and mouth in that short time. I ran over to the SUV, expecting to pull out a bloodied and wailing driver at best… but as I got to the driver’s side, he opens the door and gets out, stunned. He was in uniform, and he looked to me like an auxiliary policeman. No blood, so that was a relief. I ask if he’s ok, and he asks if I can help remove the branch.

I thought he was nuts. I looked back, and traffic was already backed up as far as the eye can see. I give the branch a nudge to see how heavy the behemoth was. It was very heavy. Carrying it would be impossible for the two of us, but should be possible with the many KLites who would in a few moments stream along to help.

In the meantime, leveraging on the position of the branch across the bonnet of the SUV, the two of us attempted to force the branch over the vehicle. Just as we were about to roll it over, I realised that the branch had snagged a cable on its way down. Not wanting to first get electrocuted and second cause a blackout in KL, I screamed at the dude to stop. At this point I realise that there’s actually another guy in the passenger seat, still stunned that a tree had fallen on his vehicle. We manage to convince him to get real, get onto the driver’s side and reverse the SUV a little.

The two of us then heaved and pushed the branch off the SUV and launched it over the safety railings on the other side of the road, taking advantage of the momentum of the heavy branch to pull off this manoeuvre… pulling down the cable a little further, but not wrenching it down. But my deltoid muscles…

I was soaked to the bone.

Throughout the 2 minutes it took for all this to take place, a lot of people stopped to look, but not a single person came forward to help.

Not surprising though. Who would want to get wet on a working day?

By this time, my colleague had used her blackberry to e-mail her next appointment saying she won’t make it because a tree fell in front of her ride.

As I got back into the car, she remarked that I had to get changed because I was dripping wet. Not a single thread was dry.

She had a closer look, and saw streaks of dirt across my shirt.

“Eww, what’s that?”

I looked at my shirt, and said “Must be from the tree…”

“Oh… the tree is quite dirty.”

“Yea…” I replied… disappointed that my shirt now had dirt stains.

As we drove on in the driving rain… very soon we realized the utter obnoxiousness of the statements we made. These are the type of things you won’t be able to live down if anyone knew you said it…

My colleague made it on time for her appointment.

As I drove back home early through the rivers of KL that evening, I recalled fondly two other incidents, one a close call, and the other involving ‘water' … :-)

******

It’s not the sound it makes when it falls, it’s the silence it leaves when it’s gone.

Class of 2009

2010-03-08T11:51:00.004Z

My brothers and sisters of the class of 2009,

Be humble

You reap what you sow

In a new place
Remember where you come from
Remember you come in what form

Get familiar with the people
You never know who can help you put up a great show
You never know who can help your dreams grow

It’s a jungle
So create an identity
That you can take pride in

Write

Be prepared to meet all sorts of people
In all sorts of places

Learn from the experiences of others
Especially when they are willing to share

Ask
(but not too much)

It may be nature’s call
For you to give back to others
Even when you only have 30 seconds to decide

Surround yourself with inspiring characters
They may just inspire you

Ask
(but don’t forget how much)

Focus

Take a stand
But don't be afraid to stand corrected
Get your voice heard
But don't forget to listen

Communicate
Even to those who can’t see you
Even to those who can’t hear you

Sell

Plan and prepare
But be prepared to change and adapt
But still create wealth

Give
Unconditionally

Fight for your rights
Fight for what you believe is right
You can't make everyone happy
But try understand what's it like being in their shoes

Remember the masks people wear
Remember the masks you wear

Appreciate the value of others
and the value of yourself

Survive

Partake in the simple joys of others
It may make you smile too

Carry babies from the cot
And notice the hornbills on tree-tops

Go outside sometimes
And do battle with the elements

Let the natives dance
And then join them

Practice

Like what you do
I say it again
Like what you do

Practice, many more times

Have fun with acronyms
But find out why things are named so weird

Perform
like it really matters

Be prepared
for
suprises
along the way

But
nail
the
performance
nevertheless
It may turn out to be the best

Embrace your results
But promise yourself
You will move on quick

Don't underestimate
what you can learn from others
Don't underestimate
what others can learn from you

It's not too long
It's not too short
a time
It's what you do with time

Remember
Treasure
As time goes by

But always
be
humble.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday...

2010-03-04T10:10:00.002Z

but never remembers her age.

Although my birthday celebrations tend to be more muted than the average Joe, I've had a few that will stay with me for a few more birthdays to come.

*******

There was one when I turned 10 I think, where I got many M.A.S.K. toys... Thunderhawk, Condor, Raven, Switchblade, Iguana…

*******

In high school, there were three of us in my class who had the same birthdates. What are the odds of that??

(seriously, what are the odds of that?)

*******

Surprise birthday parties can go horribly wrong. This one year, there were about 30 people crammed into a house in Nottingham waiting to surprise me. What no one realised was I had wanted to spend the night quietly, and had other plans. The guys who were to bring me to the house only managed to convince me to follow them after a considerable amount of time... and by the time I made my entry, I had to face quite a number of pissed people!

*******

This one five years ago takes the cake!

I got a bouquet of flowers sent to me at the office, signed off “secret admirer”. I immediately thought it was my colleagues, as they were the ones who would tend to remember these dates, but their denials revealed it wasn’t. The handwriting on the card though, looked familiar. I had my suspicions.

I went home and dug through some old papers at the bottom drawer of the cupboard, and finally found some evidence! I looked at the handwriting on the card that came with the bouquet, and compared it with the one on the note written by a friend 10 years earlier. The similarities were obvious! Add to the fact that this friend's birthday was a day before mine - she would definitely remember! The first thing I did was to inform my colleagues how I solved the mystery of the "secret admirer" so quickly.

I also figured it must have been a double act, and so messaged this friend and another who I was certain was involved as well.

They feigned knowledge at first.

And still feigned knowledge a few phone calls later.

They denied and denied... and continued denying... till the end of the day.

The next day, late afternoon, I finally found out it was indeed my colleagues. They were apparently splitting slides the whole evening before as I updated them the progress of my forensics...

The next year, those two friends sent me a bouquet on my birthday, and in the card they wrote, “we’re sorry we forgot your birthday last year, but this time it’s really us!”

*******

Two years ago, and this time back in Nottingham, 4 big guys (Florian, Chris, Bilal, Wira) waylaid me and bundled me into a cab to an all-you-can-eat buffet. These guys were really hungry. My birthday was just an excuse.

*******

This year, it was the first with the wife. Very memorable! Thanks dear.

Now if only birthdays came every month… :-)

If one had but a single glance to give the world...

2010-01-26T04:41:00.008Z

one should gaze on Istanbul.

I wish I was travelling with Alphonse de Lamartine, but back in my uni-days, I used to go travelling with my friends, and we landed in what was once upon a time Byzantium and Constantinople. Visitors take their photographs and have their own stories to tell - well so do I. My pictures are in a photo album somewhere, my stories in my head.

I still remember vividly two conversations we had in the centre of Istanbul, in the vicinity of the stunning Hagia Sophia and the Blue Mosque.

*******

“Sirs, you looking for a place to stay?”

Not wanting to sound too eager, my friend gave a nonchalant “Yes we are”.

“You should stay at our place. Price is good, and we serve seven items for breakfast.”

A few minutes later, all in, it sounded like a reasonable deal. Food too was an important consideration, considering we were nearly on a shoe-string budget. And so we stayed at the motel recommended by this guy.

The next morning, we were extremely upset. We didn’t have the seven items for breakfast as promised by the guy.

We tracked him down somewhere near the motel, as he was looking for more tourists to stay at his ‘we serve seven items for breakfast’ place.

“You promised seven items, there was only bread!”

The guy looked genuinely concerned.

“No seven items?? No coffee, tea, jam, butter, marmalade and milk??”

...

We managed to convince him to buy us some papaya for breakfast the next morning.

*******

“Have you visited Haleh?”

We looked at each other. Among the five of us, we had done enough research to know every corner of Istanbul, but none of us has read about Haleh.

“You haven’t heard of Haleh?”

“No.”

“Ah, but no visit to Istanbul is complete if you haven’t visited Haleh.”

To say that this guy had our attention was an understatement. How could we have missed out on visiting a gem of a place in this historical city? Maybe we were too caught up reading our travel guides that we failed to connect with the locals like this kind gentleman?

“What’s Haleh?”

“Like I said, you must visit Haleh if you come to Istanbul. Please, please follow me.”

“What’s Haleh??”

“Haleh is my carpet shop…”

*******

I have visited so many places I just wish I had more time to write about the amusing people I’ve met, the crazy things people have made me do (and done to me), and the unforgettable experiences that colour my trips.

May your marriage and your life together...

2009-12-15T15:07:00.007Z

be as beautiful as the love that brought you to this day.

This is something I wrote nearly two years ago... I probably didn't acknowledge it at that time, but it looks like I had a hidden agenda... :-)

*******

Hobby: Wedding Speeches!

13. I’ve spoken at 13 weddings.

It’s great when someone asks you to speak at their wedding. It’s something which I love doing. And my friends and family have given me the honour to do it that many times.

The preparation is exciting. I get to speak to the bride and the groom, sometimes together, sometimes separately. I get to ask all sorts of questions: how they met, what attracted them to each other, how they knew the other was the ‘one’…

“I really don’t know what attracted me to him… I just knew he was the one.”

“She doesn’t know this, but that one time, when she…”

“We’ve known each other for many years, but when he appeared on my doorstep that day, I knew this was the man I wanted to marry.”

And one couple, when I separately asked them to describe the other, they both used the exact description! :-)

Sometimes, I get to chat with the parents too! Their take on their children is amusing as well. A friend said that a parent’s greatest happiness is when they see their children happy. And at every wedding I attended, the parents were happy.

It’s amazing some of the things these people did, the time they were willing to wait, the ups and downs they experienced… but I guess certain things are that worth it.

Some of the stories are normal, some of the stories are amazing, and some of the stories can be made into movies…

All are wonderful though – coz it has led to a marriage.

Weddings itself are fun, although it can be stressful, what with wanting it to be perfect, and having so many people involved. But we gotta remember that behind every wedding, there’s some sort of magic that has brought two people and two families together…

As much as it’s for the guests to get to know the couple, when I speak at a wedding, I try to make it something special for the couple. A gentle recollection of how they came together and a sharing of their family and friends’ joy with their decision to take, god willing, the eternal promise. Something the couple can cherish… (hopefully!). And it’s usually easy to do when you’re talking about people who are close and important to you too.

I’ve got some good friends who are getting married in 2008, and it looks like I’m going to be missing most of their weddings.

It’s ok :-)

My wish, as always, is that their marriage and their life together will be as beautiful as the love that brought them to their wedding day.

To those who are creating their stories now, you may not know how it’s going to turn out, but one day, you too may get to share your stories with some of us, happy ending and all...

Happy 2008!

*******

The number has since increased to 14.

Whether I will be allowed to speak at what would be 15 and 16, is left to be seen.

All I have to say is, it feels good to finally share my own story :-)

Happy 2010!

Because I'm...

2009-11-28T10:37:00.007Z

worth it.

As I walked into the convention centre, I tried to avoid eye-contact with anyone. I could imagine the questions that would be asked, but I hadn't thought of an answer that could explain the situation.

Avoiding people was quite impossible, and the questions rained in.

"Hey... you look like didn't sleep last night... you ok?"

"Yea, yea, late night..."

"Have you been crying?"

"Haha... of course not..."

"You ok?? Anything bothering you?"

Sigh. This is crazy.

You see, I've been shaving since I was, 18? Yea, therabouts. I therefore have a habit of lathering shaving cream all over my chin and face, and manouevering the blades, so on and so forth to get that close shave feeling.

This time, a close family friend gave me a cream that she said would do wonders for the dark circles that have been forming around my eyes.

You guessed it. I went to bed one night, having generously lathered the area around my eyes with this miraculous cream. I was a bit perplexed though that it came in such a tiny container, 3.5ml to be precise. Wouldn't last me three days, I thought to myself. Went to bed, happy that miracle cream was doing what it should.

Woke up the next morning, with the area around my eyes feeling supple. Hmmm...

Went to the mirror and oh my god my eyes were so puffed up it wasn't funny. I tried to depuff my eyes with my fingers, but it didn't work.

I stood there staring at my eyes... wondering what the heck was I thinking.

Maybe that's why the container was so small, you twit.

And I had to go to work in a short while. How could I possibly explain this?

Man... that's the problem. Being a man.

The good thing to come out of all this - the ephipany.

I now understand completely when ladies have those mornings. I never understood the 'bad hair day' phenomena, but now, I get it. It can happen to even the best of us. I emphatise with you, girlfriends.

To all the ladies out there, I have stopped laughing.

The moment I wake up...

2009-10-31T10:42:00.001Z

before I put on my make-up.

Celebrating Halloween in the office with your colleagues on a Friday: Cool

Shaving only the left-half your face to become Two-face (sort of), with an old, loud checked shirt instead of an office shirt and a belt with a massive buckle and large initials; and not having to go rent a costume for the celebration: Brilliant

Being summoned to meet the CEO on the same day, and not being able to remove your costume like your other colleagues: Say a little prayer for me…

The conversations...

2009-10-07T16:02:00.007+01:00

people have.

Guest: Hi, I don't think we've met.

Me: I don't think I've met you before either...

*******

A girl was celebrating having gotten her driver's licence by bringing her friends for a joy ride. She was turning into a car park from the main road, and oncoming traffic seemed clear.

She didn't reckon with our pizza delivery guys. As she turned into the carpark, a pizza delivery guy on a motorbike promptly appeared out of nowhere and smashed into her car.

A doctor I knew happened to be at the scene of the accident. Although there was some blood, the guy was not badly injured. The guy also had a colleague of his (having appeared on a motorbike out of nowhere, naturally) tending to him. After calming the near-hysterical girls down, the doctor went to stabilise the guy who was still on the road. Oddly, he noticed that the guy's colleague had disappeared.

Doc:
Mana kawan adik?

Pizza delivery guy:
... aduh... dia.... aduh... ambik pizza saya... kena deliver....

*******

Interviewer: So what course would like to do?

Me: Medicine.

Interviewer: Oh. Unfortunately we don't offer scholarships for medicine.

Me: Oh. I don't mind engineering either...

*******

Germany, 1973

My Dad: Can I have some water please?

The German waiter, after finally understanding what my dad wanted, pointed to the river outside the restaurant.

Apparently, drinking water was not common in German restaurants then. You drank beer for everything.

******

I was in the neighbourhood grocery store, and called home to find out if anything was needed for the family. Cappucino was our then cat.

Mum: For Cappucino, two cans tuna flavoured, two cans chicken flavoured.

Me: Ok...

Mum: Get the biscuits for him also, any flavour. Two boxes.

Me: Ok...

Mum: Why not buy a few more cans, we can keep it. Get the smaller cans, he may not finish the big ones, and it may spoil if we keep it too long.

Me: Ok. Anything for us?

Mum: ... hmm... a loaf of bread.

Me: That's it???

Mum: Yes. Thanks.

Cappucino oh Cappucino. How I miss you.

Hehehe...

Listen...

2009-07-30T09:11:00.001+01:00

to them.

I didn't know her well at all. In fact, the first time I sat across the table from her, it did occur to me that I'd seen her somewhere before... but I couldn't place her.

Only later that day, I realised that she was the then to be legendary, and now the late, Yasmin Ahmad.

Two things about this woman struck me.

One, she always talked about her parents.

And two, she was always willing to hear ideas and willing people to share their ideas. Nothing was too silly for her. Perhaps Yasmin's advertisements and movies were not only a reflection of her brilliance and ability to seem to have her finger on our pulses, but her brilliance and ability to get the best out of the people around her and produce masterpieces.

A trait that more of us could display. Too many people think they know what’s best for everyone. Or don’t have the patience to listen to a young mind fleshing out ideas.

Have patience, and listen, people!

Sure as hell going to miss those ads on tv...

Rest in peace, dear Yasmin. May Allah bless your soul always.

11,443...

2009-06-29T11:22:00.005+01:00

days later.

I've learnt that...
I should never recommend my dad watch a pirated Hollywood DVD before I've watched it first.

I've learnt that...
if water coming out of the water-cooler smells like durian, it's probably not the water.

I've learnt that...
respect must be earned. And kept.

I've learnt that...
if you're looking for something, it helps to know what it looks like. Or at least what it should look like.

I've learnt that...
contrary to popular belief, there are some things lawyers can't do.

I've learnt that...
it really is mind over matter.

I've learnt that...
there are some things that will only make sense when you go through it yourself.

I've learnt that...
women's lack of a sense of direction is not a myth.

I've learnt that...
speaking clearly and to the point is becoming a lost art.

I've learnt that...
too many people I know want things they know they will most likely not get.

I've learnt that...
many happy people I know did not have things going the fairy tale way.

I've learnt that...
I should not question the plots in Hindi movies.

I've learnt that...
dates and anniversaries (save a few) are not as important as they are made out to be.

I've learnt that...
for some of us, time is running out :-)

Seventeenth...

2009-06-15T13:09:00.004+01:00

at.

I hadn’t noticed it before, but there’s an abandoned house that comes into view first.

Apartments that are too expensive follow.

I never realised that the city was quite this green. There are lots of trees, forming what seems to be a forest, dotted by buildings.

Next, a building where a friend of mine used to work in. Haven’t heard from her for a while now.

I can see the intersection of two of the busiest roads in Kuala Lumpur from up here, Raja Laut and Sultan Ismail. Who were these two men anyway? In the mornings, it’s actually quite scenic to see the traffic snarl, it’s as therapeutic as watching a river flowing slowly. And in the late evenings, the never-ending streams of car lamps help illuminate the city roads. When these streams of light begin to quiver, it’s time to go home.

If I look straight down, I can see one of the reasons Malaysians are the way we are now. Three primary schools, side by side. I didn’t realize they were so close together. Learning pretty much the same thing, but in different languages. Walls separate their school compounds today, walls that we’ll try to bring down tomorrow. Bird’s eye view of the future I have of these children.

Looking up, sometimes I get to see a storm coming. Quite a show - the buildup of the clouds, the graying of the sky, sometimes aging the day by numerous hours in a matter of a few minutes. The rain pelts the window, but never indicating the havoc it will cause all the way down there. Gridlocks result.

I can see the Gombak river. The colour of the river seems healthier these days. A relentless heavy downpour still makes it break its banks though, and flood the minor roads behind this building, submerging the cars parked illegally and the Tiong Nam households. The metro heaves on above the river, on its tracks that snake with the flow.

I can also see the world’s fifth highest telecommunications tower. It gives the city skyline character, regardless looking like a massive baby rattle or not.

There is a somewhat resident eagle that flies the skies around my building. I haven’t seen him in the one week that I’ve moved to this floor.

Only after watching the movie ‘Cinta’ did I appreciate what a charming city KL was. Now, I am charmed by the city every working day.

I really like my new room, and certainly don’t mind spending hours working from here, with a splendid view like this. And with my cup of Ipoh old town coffee.

I turn back to my desk.

Two laptops stare back at me.

Now, if only either one was in good working condition…

Hello...

2009-05-30T18:33:00.006+01:00

is it me you're looking for?

I was wearing a crisp white shirt, and a well-ironed pair of black trousers. Very lawyer-like. No tie though, as it was past 8 o'clock and I was at the restaurant just to order some take-away dinner before heading home.

A guy walks into the restaurant, and asks me where the reunion is.

I say I don't know. He asks could it be upstairs. I say I really don't know, coz I don't work there. He leaves me, not embarrassed by his gaffe, but confused.

I look around the restaurant.

It was empty.

Except for me waiting for my takeaway order, and 3 waiters hanging around, in their crisp white shirts and well-ironed pair of black trousers.

*******

In university, we're assigned a tutor each. They take care of our academic welfare, and we see them periodicaly over every academic year.

I went to meet my tutor.

"So, how has your first year been?"

"Sir, I just completed my final year exams."

*******

I was waiting on the kerb with a friend, while our husband-and-wife friends were going into their sixth handbag shop.

"Can you take me?"

The both of us looked at the lady who asked the question.

"Sorry ma'am, we're on a break" I answered.

She left. I told my friend that we better move away from standing by the two London Black Cabs parked at the kerb, lest we get more queries like that.

*****

"Were you the one who bled?"

"No."

"Then you must be the one who crashed the car!"

*******

At a wedding, where I had given the wedding speech, the reception had ended and I was talking to the best man.

As the guests were filing out, an elderly uncle walked up to the best man and said:

"Well done!"

"Thank you uncle..." the best man says.

"Didn't realise you had that talent..."

"Err... thanks again..." the slightly perplexed best man said.

I was wondering too - standing by the groom and fanning him doesn't require exceptional talent... or does it??

"So, how long did it take to write the speech?"

Uncle... uncle... :-)

*******

Seeing a lady I knew, I went up to her and said...

"Hello aunty, how are you??"

From her reaction, without a doubt, she had no idea who I was.

After asking my name, and then my father's name, she suddenly sparkled as she seemed to remember who I was.

"Ah, I remember now, I attended your wedding last year!"

Funny...

I don't remember being there at my wedding.

Speak when you are angry...

2009-05-18T17:20:00.003+01:00

and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Have you ever had people leave anonymous messages for you?

It's nice, isn't it? (except if you're being stalked... but I don't have that problem.)

Perhaps someone is noticing you.

Perhaps someone wants to speak to you, but doesn't get the opportunity to do so.

Or can't summon the courage to do so.

I've had a very small number of such messages left for me, but there's one I'll never forget.

It was a number of years ago at the Bangsar Shopping Centre in KL. I had gone to the mall with a friend, and had swung down to the lower basement to park. I parked near the lifts, as it would be easier to get to the car when we were ready to leave.

A couple of hours later, we were back at the car park.

As I was about to get into the driver's seat, I noticed a neatly folded piece of paper under the wiper on my windscreen.

Hmm.

Suddenly, I twinkled.

I looked around, and there was no one scurrying away, or trying to escape my gaze…

My heart was pounding already. Who could it be... this stranger leaving a note for me, putting it on my windscreen knowing full well I will not miss it...

I took the note, and opened it with bated breath.

And there it was. The message for me, written so crisply such that its meaning could not be any clearer...

“Thank you for parking here. You block everyone. Assholes like you should take the bus instead.”

Damn...

Tight slap on the face it was like...

*******

I didn't park in a parking spot I admit, but I didn't block everyone.

Class of 2008

2009-04-30T18:30:00.002+01:00

My brothers and sisters of the class of 2008,

Be humble

You reap what you sow

In a new place
Get familiar with the surroundings
Get familiar with the people

You never know who can help you put up a great show
You never know who can help your dreams grow

Don't forget to brush your teeth
However it is you do it

Create an identity
That you can take pride in

Be prepared to meet all sorts of people, in all sorts of places

Learn from the experiences of others
Especially when they are willing to share

Write

Help all creatures of god
You'll be a better person for it

Surround yourself with inspiring characters
They may just inspire you

Have fun in whatever you do
Don't get sidetracked too much
But allow your creativity to flow...

Communicate
Not eveyone can see you
Not everyone can hear you
Especially when you're up there

Fight for your rights
Fight for what you believe is right
You can't make everyone happy
But try understand what's it like being in their shoes

Remember the masks people wear
Remember the masks you wear

Take a stand
But don't be afraid to stand corrected
Get you voice heard
But don't forget to listen

Appreciate the value of others
and the value of yourself

Survive

Give
Unconditionally

Don't be careless

Go outside sometimes
And do battle with the elements

Partake in the simple joys of others
It may make you smile too

Catch fish with your hands
Once you have learnt how to

Practice

Go to the beach
And listen
to the sand

Climb... mountains if you could
The view is always fantastic

Practice, many more times

Roll on the ground
Under the stars
You may have never done it this way before
But why not

Perform
like it really matters

Be prepared
for
suprises
along the way

But
nail
the
performance
nevertheless

Don't underestimate
what you can learn from others
Don't underestimate
what others can learn from you

Wave with both hands when you say goodbye

It's not too long
It's not too short
a time
It's what you do with time

Remember
Treasure
As you move along

But always
be
humble.

Ladies & gentlemen...

2009-04-25T18:32:00.005+01:00

announcing the arrival of...

me.

*******

Friday 24 April 2009 I am going to remember for a long time.

It was an unremarkable day as usual.

And then the sun set!

I had been asked to attend a dinner, as a representative. When you have been asked, it's not polite to decline, even though it's Friday night and...

I had no other plans anyway.

As I made my way past the main doors of the hall and headed for the entrance to the dining room, someone intercepted me and ushered me to the VIP holding room instead.

Didn't expect that.

Lush red carpet, massive sofas with funny looking floral patterns, and kopi-o and muffins as snack. And then a few people came in to keep me company.

Soon enough, another VIP (me being the first one, remember...) joined us in the room. And that was when I discovered that the two of us were it. The main guests for the dinner.

We were both ushered out of the VIP holding room with a small entourage following and walked across the hall to the dining room. There was a guard of honour formed, consisting of about a hundred people. They smiled at us, and we back. I even waved a little, as it felt awkward just walking past.

We passed the doors to the dining room, and that was when I realised that it wasn't a room, it was a MASSIVE dining hall with hundreds and hundreds of people sitting around dinner tables.

Didn't expect that either.

Then the emcees announced our arrival, with my name being one of the three mentioned. And we got thunderous applause!

Absolutely amazing.

These people seemed genuinely happy to see us.

The walk from the doors to the main table is something that will stick with me for a long time. What a feeling. It was like taking a lap of honour after winning the final of the Malaysia Cup. Everyone was smiling and clapping and there was even a photographer taking pictures. The scenery was beautiful. Those 30 seconds went past too soon.

My seat at the main table even had my name on it. The long version!

Three speeches later and dinner began. Dinner was good, and I was beginning to get comfortable at the table. It was at times a bit unnerving though, with a couple of cameramen trying to get a good shot of me lifting my spoon to my mouth, at the point just before chewing...

I couldn't resist and had to ask how many people were having dinner.

About 1000.

At the end of dinner, I was called on stage to receive a couple of tokens of appreciation. Things got better when I didn't have to take the tokens with me, as someone took it from me on stage and would hold it for me whilst I finish dessert... :-)

Thank you for dinner IIUM. Good luck to the 800 school children from 96 secondary schools across Malaysia at the inter-shcool debating competition - I hear you're going to get into the Malaysia Book of Records for making this the biggest event of its kind. All the best to the 400 odd undergrads and alumni involved in the organising of the competition. For what it's worth, you have my support.

And thank you Jane for sending me to dinner!

First to Bata...

2009-03-19T16:04:00.000Z

then to school.

It was like the first tag-line in my life, ever. I grew up with that embedded in my soul.

Fast forward to 2008...

I was walking in Berne. It was in the midst of Euro 2008, and I was in this city with 17 other people, mates from my High School MBA class.

My eye suddenly caught a Bata outlet.

My good friend Riel was walking by me and I said to him,

"You know bro, for a very long time, I thought Bata was Malaysian."

"Haha... well you were wrong, coz it's Indonesian."

"Where got... no lah..."

"It is man..."

Suddenly, our three Indian friends come bounding along, and I tell them...

"Riel thinks Bata is Indonesian!"

"Hahaha.... of course not, it's Indian!"

And I stopped all of them.

"It is not Indian either!"

"Yep it is! You can find Bata in every city in every state in India..."

"In Indonesia too..."

And the debate went on and on and on...

"I swear Bata is an Indian name!"

Thank god the other 13 didn't join in. Otherwise, Finland, Costa Rica, England, Hong Kong, Taiwan and Italy would be claiming Bata as well.

For the record, Mr. Bata is Czech.

*******

It's unfortunate, but my more recent memories of Bata in Malaysia, from a few years ago, has been the line "Sorry, no stock."

Perhaps I will walk into the next Bata outlet I come across. For old times' sake, to relive my childhood...

then I will make a trip to my school!

..............................

2009-03-02T16:29:00.000Z

Every step I take away from you...

2009-02-21T18:43:00.004Z

I'll be two steps closer to your embrace.

Or something like that.

Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical was supposed to start at 8.30pm. But for me, the drama started at 8.04pm.

As I drove into the grounds of the theatre, I was pleasantly surprised to see the traffic controllers move away and ask me to drive right through what seemed to me to be the VIP path. The cars in front of me had been ushered to take the less privileged route, to park in the boondocks I believe.

I was driving a borrowed car, which was slightly bigger and more imposing compared to the standard car... well, if it came with certain privileges, why not bask in it? It looked like my colleague and I were meant to arrive in style for this musical!

I soon realised that the path led to the lower lobby of the theatre. I saw a couple of doormen waiting, and I thought I'd ask them where in the lower lobby I should park. As I slowed the car to a halt, one of them opened the passenger door to let my colleague out, and the one on my side, wait a minute... was going to open the back door... but why?? No one at the back woi...

Cheh... they thought I was chauffer-driving the car!

10 minutes later, the both of us were making our way to the theatre, having parked in the boondocks.

The play was… nice. A little less rousing than I expected… but I’m glad I caught it just days before it was never to be staged again.

I was intrigued by the Micheal Jackson ‘Thriller’ sequence - when the nenek kebayans were facing off with the 7 warriors in the jungles of Gunung Ledang...

Some of the lines were quite corny… when translated into English. In Malay, they sounded poetically mesmerising…

Talking about lines, during the break, I saw the longest line to the ladies toilet I've ever seen in my life. So the horror stories floating around KL about these toilets were indeed true. And just before the start of the second half, I overheard a guy, coming back into the theatre, asking the lady sitting behind me, "Hi…. How’re you? Hmm... How's the view from here?” Sigh... I pity the guy. Small talk is not easy.

Sultan Mahmud of Melaka was one of the characters in the play. This Sultan Mahmud must have been one helluva guy – every time I see this character portrayed in a play, he’s always gatal.

I too once played the role of Sultan Mahmud in a stage play. Naturally, had to be gatal. The scriptwriters (Naz and Haz) gave me some pretty awesome lines to use to court the Princess:

Princess wanted seven trays of mosquito hearts:

Haha! Seven trays?! Why not eight?
This is going to be easy,
To prove my love to you Princess,
I will keep my servants busy.

Then Princess wanted seven pitchers of maidens’ tears:

Again you’re extremely kind Puteri,
A simple task for me no doubt,
Every maiden in the land will hear of my marriage,
They will soon be crying their eyes out!

Then she went infrastructure, wanting a bridge of gold and a bridge of silver linking Melaka to Gunung Ledang for eternity...:

Hmm… I will have to consult my Bendahara,
This would cause a huge dent in my treasure,
But not as big as the hole in my heart,
Should I fail under pressure!

And Sultan Mahmud’s immortal words before Princess’ final request…:

Render me poor for all I care,
Failure to have you is something I cannot bear!

And then she asks for my young son’s blood, a bowlful of.

Waduh...

I wonder if these lines would work in real life.

I feel I just graduated from...

2009-02-16T12:16:00.004Z

High School!

"Redundancy..."

I slowly opened my eyes, wondering why in the world I said that.

As the grogginess disappeared, I could make out.... Prof Bart!

Shucks. I was in an Operations Management lecture.

"What?..."

"Redundancy..." I muttered under my breath, still not sure why the heck I was saying that.

"Sorry, didn't get that..."

You're not the only one prof, I don't get it either.

"He said 'redundancy'...." a classmate offered. He, like the other 30-odd people in the class... having no idea what was going on.

A few eyes were transfixed on me, waiting for an explanation.

"Transportation", someone else answered.

"Aha that's right..." Prof Bart finally giving out that super big grin of his, glad that he could understand someone now.

There is an art when one wants to fall asleep in lectures. I had it mastered pretty well, most of the time I looked like I was in deep thought, as opposed to in deep slumber.

There are two dangers though. The first is the one like above. One's own mouth.

The second one? Friends. (How do I know I look like I'm in deep thought while sleeping? Friends with camera phones in lectures. And I thought phones were not allowed in lectures.)

I was in one of my slumbers towards the end of the first half of a Management Information Systems lecture. I got up due to the normal commotion caused by people getting up for the break.

20 minutes later, back in the lecture theatre, I realised that we were given a group assignment cum presentation for the break. As I had nipped off for coffee during the break, in addition to the fact I was not awake in the lecture, I didn't know much at all about this presentation.

"Who's presenting for this group?"

And in one of those moments that will be greatly difficult to forget, my four soon-to-be-ex-friends-for-the-day, unanimously, pointed at me.

"Me?"

They had been plotting the whole time!

I was sucker-punched!

I pride myself in being the master of practical jokes and gotchas. This was difficult, but I managed to weasel my way out. Ask a question about the Greater Manchester Ambulance Service project, and Prof went on about it for about 15 minutes.

Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah. I know.

There are many people out to get me, but until that happens, I will continue with my practical jokes and gotchas :-)

Trip over love, you can get up.

2009-02-10T17:15:00.001Z

Fall in love and you fall forever.

No idea who said that, but it was obvious these two were on a date.

And I was quite sure they were on their first date.

They were seated on the table next to mine, so I could not help but... notice :-)

The boy was what I would call a wreck.

He was seated, yes, but in a very uncomfortable position. After helping the girl sit, he sat down, but did not pull up his chair to the table quite close enough. In fact, his chair was at an angle to the table... and instead of correcting the position of the chair, he sat crookedly for the rest of the meal, unable to rest properly on the back of the chair.

What was his opening line?

"So... err... why did you choose Madam Kwan's?"

Alaa...

Bro, if the girl chooses the place, just bring her there, don't ask why. Yet.

Anyway, the date thus began.

He had this permanent grin on his face. The whole meal, that smile of his never vanished, and everytime she looked at him, she would see his row of pearly white teeth.

It was there all the time, that even I got irritated.

It did mask one thing though - he was very nervous as I could gather from the constant shaking of his leg.

I really wanted to go up to him and just push his chair in a little - I was sure if he was seated comfortably, things would be much better. For the both of them... and for me. You see, good posture is important for many things - driving, at your desk, sleeping, when you're in a spaceship and when you're on dates.

They got to the end of their meal...

"Would you like a Mentos?"

Huh? I could swear I didn't see that on the menu.

I looked over stealthily, and I saw the girl offering the guy a mentos from the pill bottle-like container. Goodness, where in the world did she hide that?

Now, no matter how disastrous or uneventful a meal may have been, it is always useful to have a good closing. Lets see how our man performs.

He asks for the bill.

Good.

The girl offers to pay. He politely says that it's on him, and the girl happily relents.

Better.

The bill comes, and he cooly takes out his credit card and gives it to the waitress, acknowledging the waitress with a smile.

Steady.

It comes back, a cursory glance to ensure everything's in order, signs the chit, and the deed is done.

Pass.

And we're all happy.

*******

I have a feeling that, despite a few misses here and there, he will get another date on Valentine's Day if he asks her out.

But that grin...

If you have been there in recent years...

2009-02-01T07:04:00.002Z

chances are that you will never forget the reality that is Saigon.

How true.

It was quite hot. I had started the day before sunrise, barely slept during the flight, and had battled through heavy traffic to get to the hotel. It was 5pm going on to 6pm, and having just checked-in, our meetings were to start at dinner. This was the blind-spot of times, where there was nothing much that could be done.

I thought I'd take a shower then. It was a very nice looking hotel room, and I knew I'd be very busy for the rest of my time in Vietnam, so I thought now was the time to have a leisurely shower or maybe even a bath.

I got ready for the shower, as one would. The towels in these hotels are usually big and fluffy and comfy, and I made my way to the bathroom to get them.

As I walked the short distance, there was a sweet knock on the door.

"Turn-down sir?!" The voice from the outside said.

"What?"

Then the door began to open. I realised I hadn't latched the chain!

Shucks. Does 'what' mean 'yes' in Vietnamese???

I turned around, dived across the bed, taking the comforter with me as I flew over, landing on the floor on the other side of the room, with a 'kedabup'.

Phew.

I peeked my head over the bed, and one of the room-service ladies was standing there, in my room, smiling.

"Turn-down sir?"

What the bloody hell is 'turn-down'?

"No, thank you."

And she left.

That was a close-call.

As I sat there contemplating how disastrous my opening evening in the glorious former Saigon could have been, and debating with myself the concept of privacy in communism, I got a phone call.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing really."

"Ok, lets do some quick shopping before dinner."

Looks like I was never meant to take this shower.

I got dressed and went down to the lobby, after making sure my door was locked.

*******

Turn-down, I figured out the next evening, is when the hotel prepares the bed for sleep, where they remove the comforter and fold over part of the duvet etc., and sometimes leave some chocolates on the pillow. Good stuff. Usually.

People who say they sleep like a baby...

2009-01-26T14:28:00.005Z

usually don't have one.

The bane of parents around the world is finding reliable babysitters.

Whereas, the bane of babysitters around the world is finding reliable babies.

I honestly don't get all this fussing about baby-sitting.

How hard can it be?

Like, let the child within you go free, and there you have it - babysitting will flow from your fingertips.

And I'm not simply talking. I have baby-sat, a little.

I also have great ideas to keep children occupied, as can be seen from the picture below. I am constantly innovating in this area as well.

So, my friends, anyone looking for a reliable baby-sitter?

Pain is inevitable...

2009-01-18T05:53:00.002Z

suffering is optional.

An ancient method of hair removal which originated in India.

Which to me should be confined to the dungeons of the Ripley's Believe It Or Not musuem.

The very image conjured up sent shivers down my spine.

Threading.

Where, nowadays, one pays someone to use a thread to pull out hair from the face... and until very recently I thought only girls used this sado-masochistic procedure.

I was at a wedding and was quite intrigued at the very fine line of beard that ran from the groom's sideburns to his chin. I've seen this type of beards of course, but only that particular day I began to wonder how it's done. I've tried using my Gillette Mach 3, but to no avail. Maybe I need to upgrade to the Mach 3 Turbo?

Trust the ladies to know how it's done.

"Threading laa..."

Oh...

Ouch.

Hmm.

This got me thinking.

I can actually do so many things then with this threading procedure, pain notwithstanding .

I should really try this out! Threading!

I picture myself coming home with a nifty thin line of facial hair running from side-to-side, a spiral here, a zig-zag there... :-)

I wonder what my dad would say. I imagine the conversation at home would go something like this:

Dad: So, what did you do today, son?

Me: I went to the threading saloon.

Dad: Ha? What for? Your company looking into the threading business? Hahaha!

Me: Hahaha, no. I actually went to thread my face. See my beard? It's now very narrow and fine and it's looks...

Dad: What? What??

Me: Well you see, I just discovered that threading is not only for girls and their eyebrows...

Dad: Never! Never has an Ismail man had anything other than sharp razor blades put to his face and neck! And you had thread??? Have you lost it??

Me: Wait, it was actually quite painful...

Dad: No! What has become of you?!? Can you imagine if people find out you did this?

Me: Well yes, that's why I was not planning to tell anyone coz they may not understand the intricacies of...

Dad: This is totally unacceptable! You must leave and not be seen around the house until hair starts growing from those threaded pores again!

Me: Sigh. Ok, see you tomorrow morning then.

It's tough being a man. I need to sleep on this threading idea.

I'll be ready...

2009-01-14T15:56:00.005Z

never you fear.

"It's the block of offices after Baywatch..."

This was not sun-drenched Miami, or wherever it was that the Baywatch we all know was supposed to have been set, but rain-drenched Kelana Jaya.

"Did you just say Baywatch??"

Apparently, this Baywatch is a food court. I was going to meet a friend at his office one evening after work and that was the landmark.

*******

I was walking back to my car that was parked along the road outside the block. As I was walking, I saw that a minor accident had happened. I figured out from the scene that the BMW was waiting to make a u-turn, and the souped up 20-year old Mitsubishi clipped the BMW when the driver tried to overtake the BMW at the u-turn.

Very stupid.

The passengers from both cars were already outside and there was a shouting match going on, but it was mostly in Mandarin. The BMW driver was a 30-something guy, and he seemed to have a 58-year old uncle as his passenger. The Mitsubishi had four boys, all in their late-teens. I walked past the commotion towards my car.

I got into my car (Proton Satria 1.3GLS, manual tranmission, manual windows as well). Swung it around, and would have to pass the accident scene before I reached the junction to the main road.

As I drove past the scene, I was bloody shocked to see what was going on...

Uncle was holding one of the young boys, the driver presumably, by his throat! The boy's feet were nearly off the ground... and his friends seemed rooted by fear where they were. The BMW driver was screaming at uncle to stop (or egging him on, not sure)... but uncle was beating up the boy.

This called for some intervention! I ground my car to a halt, just outside Baywatch, and jumped out. The screaming that was going-on attracted some of the Baywatch life-guards... eh I mean waiters, to come out and see what was going on.

"Come-on!!!" I screamed at them before running to intervene.

As we got closer and closer, I was thinking what we should do... we can't simply barge in and starting beating up uncle, can we?

The best is just get in between uncle and the poor boy who was still being held by his neck.

"Hoi!!!" I screamed while still running, to get uncle's attention. "Stop! Hoi! Stop!"

Ok better tell the others that there's no turning back and we should just jump in ....

Turned to face the Baywatch dudes just behind me...

... and I saw nothing...

... not a single person ...

... oh wait, I can make them out, there they are... still just outside Baywatch eagerly waiting to see what I would do.

Turned to the front again, and there was uncle, having let go of the boy, looking at me.

He moved forward. I began to retreat.

Then uncle gave a couple of flying kicks to the Mitsubishi (could have been my face).

Then he cursed at the boys, before getting into the BMW. The driver got in as well, and they drove off.

The four boys looked very relieved that uncle had gone away... last I remember they were looking for a lost slipper.

I went back to my car, ignoring the Baywatch onlookers. As I drove back, I was thinking.

It's not easy being a David Hasselhoff.

Take me home...

2009-01-01T17:43:00.006Z

country roads.

It's a minor miracle I am here writing this.

It was dark, and it was pouring. And it was an unfamiliar town. It was past mid-night. The roads were long and straight, and it would take you quite a while to realise that you may actually be going in the wrong direction. It kinda reminded me of the Australian outback... one wrong turn and you may not find civilisation for days.

"Go straight down, turn right... follow sign boards... you'll be ok" - that was basically the gist of the instructions that my three lady friends gave me.

I got into my car, and it was still pouring.

Right, straight down and to the right I turned.

What a weird town. I was now going down a three-lane road, there was a divider to my left, and there were another three lanes going the same way.

Hmm... maybe we'll merge after the traffic lights...

But then, why are the traffic lights facing the other way?

Err... why are the arrows painted on the road pointing this way??

Oh my god.

Why are there headlights heading straight for me???

2009 is only a day old!!!

And then, ala the Fast & Furious and Impak Maksima, I did a 180-degree swing on the wet and slippery road.

Phew.

Now that I'm facing the right way, I guess I need to look for a u-turn somewhere down the road then.

Talk about leaving out some minor details! Ladies!

A rose by any other name...

2008-11-20T15:21:00.005Z

will still smell as sweet.

Wah... suddenly there were about 15 of them. All had crew cuts, and looked very much alike. Very cute, going into the ballroom in a single file. They looked between 7 to 10 years old. Quite certainly these boys were the 'feted guests of honour' of the host.

I sat by the table outside the ballroom, working on my laptop.

One the boys then wandered out of the ballroom. He walked around a bit... and he started staring at me.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

Still staring.

Then he ran around a little, and stopped beside me and started staring at my laptop.

Excuse me, this is very p&c stuff bro...

"Laptop ni..." He began to ask.

"Laptop ni kompeni abang punya. Nanti bila adik besar, dah kerja macam abang, mungkin dapat laptop jugak..."

"Ohh..."

Haha... that felt good.

I felt I did the socially responsible thing. Give the little man a boost, so that when he goes back, he can share with his young friends my... err... advice. Motivation and the ripple effect :-)

"Ok, thanks Uncle!"

Huh?!

I turned to look at him straight in the eye - I wanted to pierce into that retina that hasn't really seen what the world has to offer and give him a vicious jolt to the system and... but he had ran back into the ballroom.

Uncle???

Look, if you don't belong to one of my siblings...

Oh well...

Back to my p&c stuff.

I'm back...

2008-10-25T17:57:00.001+01:00

or so I thought.

The summer romance that could not happen...

2008-07-06T09:07:00.003+01:00

will not happen.

"Keep your eyes open."

"Sorry?"

"Keep your eyes open, and you'll see..."

"Hmm..."

"Look, I shouldn't have even told you this. I can't tell you more. Just... let it happen."

To do...

2008-06-08T00:47:00.008+01:00

or not to do.

I walked past the first time, looked in through the window, and she was on the phone.

10 minutes later, as I walked past again, she was still on the phone. She definitely saw me from the corner of her eye, yet...

I had to do it. There was no point in dithering anymore. I can't keep walking past, as I may eventually lose the courage to do it. So I barged the door open, and strode in...

She reluctantly ended her call.

She was alone, and without speaking, she gestured to me to take a seat.

I stared at the mirror in front of me. She slowly walked up and was soon behind me. Our eyes met, but only through the mirror...

It has been 9 months. This could not wait any longer.

*******

That afternoon, I did what every mum hopes her son would do. I got something that every mum wishes to see her son come home with.

That afternoon, I finally got a decent haircut.

It was good while it lasted. I finally found out what happens if I let my hair grow.

It goes wild. And it defies gravity.

PKTR...

2008-05-13T04:07:00.008+01:00

I felt like drowning.

Left and right, all around, were 42 other 17-year olds. Girls and boys. As each one spoke, I dreaded when it would be my turn to do so. Each spoke eloquently, and some of them used words I'd never heard of. One guy looked familiar, I figured out later that I had seen him on TV. They had opinions on worldly matters... and I was just concerned about how my favourite local football team would fare in the league. What can I say to impress this lot?

One said his ambition was to be the prime minister - that was my que to regret having decided to come for this boot camp. I lived about 45 minutes away from this hostel, and could arrange a quick gateaway. Either that, or spend the next 10 days with this bunch of ambitious, over-achieving, well-spoken, confident, boarding-schooled and weird individuals.

That was December 1995. The Tun Razak Leadership Programme. It was supposed to bring together outstanding student leaders from all over Malaysia, and...

*******

...no, I didn't abandon the programme in the end.

I didn't bring a camera either, but the memories of the programme remain etched in my mind.

I'll never forget the absolute darkness and deafening silence in the depths of Batu Caves. Where one can be lost forever even though only minutes away from civilisation. Or the thousands of cockroaches scurrying just a few feet above our heads before we were plunged into the darkness.

Or the night I spent with a leech stuck on my back, only to discover it when I was showering the next day. It probably died of an overdose of my toxic blood, but even in death, its jaw was still embedded onto my flesh...

We learnt a lot from those who came to speak to us, from the many visits we made but mostly from each other. I was enlightened. I learnt not to underestimate what I can learn from the experiences of others, regardless of their background (and having gone back to the programme numerous times after that - regardless of age). And equally, I learnt not to underestimate what others can learn from me.

Larry King once said, "I never learn a thing when I open my mouth". I became a much better listener after the programme (PKTR, not Larry King Live).

Well, I may have missed the latest instalment of the programme, but I should be back next year. To do what I do best with a new bunch of ambitious, over-achieving, well-spoken, confident, boarding-schooled and wierd individuals.

Son, your ego is writing cheques...

2008-05-09T01:57:00.001+01:00

your body can't cash.

I was tagged by Miss Diana K. So, 8 random facts about me:

1. It's been 13 years since I last lost my temper. As in totally lost it. It needed to happen. I've been nice ever since :-)

2. There was a phase in my life when I would say words backwards. First in the mind, and then I could actually speak backwards, fluently. I don't know what triggered it, but ti saw etiuq gnizama.

3. When I was about 10, a girl passed me her autograph book. I was quite shaken, went home and showed it to my mom, and the next day gave it back to the girl, unautographed.

4. My ultimate fear: singing in public.

5. I believe one day I will become the victim of a big time practical joke. I've been doing it to many people, and I believe there are some who are out to get their revenge. Until then, my 'Chantelle the French horse carer' and 'Mike from the job agency' days will continue.

6. Enid Blyton is still my favourite author.

7. The greatest football match I've ever watched: KL versus Selangor, 2nd leg of the Malaysian FA Cup quarterfinals at Stadium Merdeka (1993 I think).
KL had lost the first leg 2-0. At half time of this 2nd leg, they were down 2-0, so 4-0 down on aggregate. In an amazing second half, KL scored four goals -a T. Gopinath Naidu hat-trick and another by Zoran Nikolic. It was an amazing night for die-hard KL supporters like me. We may have been outnumbered 42,000 to 3,000, but that night, we stood tall at the very hallowed grounds of our nation's independence. KL qualified for the semis when they won the replay 1-0. Magical!

8. I actually shed a tear when Jack Dawson died in Titanic.

I am capable...

2008-04-20T13:32:00.008+01:00

of starting a fight in an empty room.

This feeling gets my blood running, my heart pumping...

The feeling, after many days of research, analysis and hard work, when you just know that you'll be done with that huge project in at most two more days...

but it's due tomorrow.

That feeling...

I believe I can fly...

2008-03-02T01:05:00.003Z

but this roof is not so high.

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death…

2008-02-23T00:32:00.002Z

I’m very disappointed with that attitude.

I can assure you it is much, much more important that that.

So said the late, great Bill Shankly, legendary Liverpool boss.

*******

In a bar not too long ago:

Tap on my shoulder, I looked over and the lady points to a guy, and he asks me,

“Don’t you have a better shirt to wear?”

*******

A few minutes later:

A guy, obviously drunk, comes over to me; his hand raised to high-five me. As I was about to high-five him, he pulls his hand back, folds his fingers except for one, and says,

“Five - one mate… five – one.”

And he walks away, proud.

A girl that was behind him then comes up to me and says, “Do you remember, goona noona anna?”

“What??”

“Do you remember, goona noona anna?!?”

“Ahah! Yep, yep…!” And we both laughed.

No idea what the heck goona noona anna is, but at least she left!

*******

A few more minutes later:

A group of four guys see me across the floor, start pointing at me, and then break out into a song.

I have to admit, that kind of freaked me out.

Then another guy from behind this group walks up to me, shakes my hand and gives me a good strong manly hug.

“You’re alrite mate…”

I decided then that this was a dangerous place, and I will not go to the gents. If this was how they were out here, god knows how they’ll be inside there.

*******

All this for wearing the jersey of a team I don’t even support!
The only reason I wore Arsenal’s jersey was because I had to wear something red for the Year of the Rat Party, and this free jersey I got was, well… red.

The Year of the Rat Party...

We went out after the party and I didn’t realize how much emotion this garment would evoke in this city.

And what were Tottenham and Chelsea fans doing in Nottingham anyway??

The Gunners’ fans owe me big time for this.

*******

Must be careful with whatever we do in public...

Insanity...

2008-01-12T04:33:00.000Z

is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Something was not right. I just couldn't figure it out. It should flow naturally, but it just wasn't... flowing.

And then...

At 3.41am...

*******

I'm not too bad at pool. I even have a tournament bronze medal on my shelf from 10 years ago, but when I started picking up the cue again, the balls weren't going where they were supposed to go. I was getting beaten by practically everyone. Including when I was playing against myself.

What was I doing wrong? What was missing?

It's like that dish that seemed perfect but lacking one crucial ingredient (salt).

It's like the most wonderful love letter ever written that would never arrive (stamp).

It's like one of your favourite sitcoms from which you can't remember the name of the main actress (Justine Bateman).

And then, that eureka moment.

Chin on cue.

That was it!

And the balls began flying into the pockets like it were their ancestral homes...

*******

I wonder what other stuff I'm doing are missing their crucial ingredients...

Don't count the days...

2008-01-05T20:40:00.000Z

make the days count.

sometimes blue

sometimes grey

sometimes both

May your marriage and your life together...

2007-12-29T23:28:00.001Z

be as beautiful as the love that brought you to this day.

Hobby: Wedding Speeches!

13. I’ve spoken at 13 weddings.

It’s great when someone asks you to speak at their wedding. It’s something which I love doing. And my friends and family have given me the honour to do it that many times.

The preparation is exciting. I get to speak to the bride and the groom, sometimes together, sometimes separately. I get to ask all sorts of questions: how they met, what attracted them to each other, how they knew the other was the ‘one’…

“I really don’t know what attracted me to him… I just knew he was the one.”

“She doesn’t know this, but that one time, when she…”

“We’ve known each other for many years, but when he appeared on my doorstep that day, I knew this was the man I wanted to marry.”

And one couple, when I separately asked them to describe the other, they both used the exact description! :-)

Sometimes, I get to chat with the parents too! Their take on their children is amusing as well. A friend said that a parent’s greatest happiness is when they see their children happy. And at every wedding I attended, the parents were happy.

It’s amazing some of the things these people did, the time they were willing to wait, the ups and downs they experienced… but I guess certain things are that worth it.

Some of the stories are normal, some of the stories are amazing, and some of the stories can be made into movies…

All are wonderful though – coz it has led to a marriage.

Weddings itself are fun, although it can be stressful, what with wanting it to be perfect, and having so many people involved. But we gotta remember that behind every wedding, there’s some sort of magic that has brought two people and two families together…

As much as it’s for the guests to get to know the couple, when I speak at a wedding, I try to make it something special for the couple. A gentle recollection of how they came together and a sharing of their family and friends’ joy with their decision to take, god willing, the eternal promise. Something the couple can cherish… (hopefully!). And it’s usually easy to do when you’re talking about people who are close and important to you too.

I’ve got some good friends who are getting married in 2008, and it looks like I’m going to be missing most of their weddings.

It’s ok :-)

My wish, as always, is that their marriage and their life together will be as beautiful as the love that brought them to their wedding day.

To those who are creating their stories now, you may not know how it’s going to turn out, but one day, you too may get to share your stories with some of us, happy ending and all...

Happy 2008!

I'm like a spider...

2007-12-22T18:04:00.000Z

who's ice-skating.

In Canada, when your team makes it to the play-offs, the men stop shaving. It’s supposed to bring luck to your team… so that they do well in the play-offs.

We’ve got a Canadian classmate here.

We’re in our ‘play-offs’ now too.

We need lots of luck.

And so the pact was made…

*******

The last time I did something like this…

…I had to reintroduce myself to some child-hood friends,

…one friend did not notice the difference,

…and one colleague asked if I was happy with what I’d achieved in my career as I approached my 40’s...

History does not repeat itself...

2007-12-15T00:01:00.000Z

but it sometimes rhymes.

A few years ago, I was involved in a reality TV show. An adventure race that was called the extreme journey.

In the first race, we did quite well, despite a few disasters that happened along the way.

I had completed the first task and was on the bus to the location of the second task, which I found out later was to harvest pineapples.

Now, every participant had two people following them, a cameraman and a director. The director told me that I was too quiet, and that I should speak more, as it won’t be much fun watching a quiet race on TV.

Speak more?

Ok, I’ll give it a go. I’ll give the producers some speak to show on TV.

I saw a lady seated nearby, and approached her, but when she saw the camera behind me, she turned away.

This was not going to be easy.

I saw two girls in school uniform seated towards the middle of the bus. They were giggling, so I thought I’ll make their day by talking to them :-) Further, it was mid-morning on a weekday, so what were they doing not in school anyway?

As I approached them, I could see they were excited…

This… is gonna be easy, I told myself, suddenly having a burst of confidence…

“Pergi mana dik?”

A good question to break the ice, don’t you think?

Amidst the giggling and their obvious shyness, one of them answered:

“Pergi sekolah, ada kelas tambahan SPM…”

I was on a roll. Keep it going dude! You have them eating out of your hands already…

“Ahh… abang pun dulu buat SPM…”

*******

I went silent.

The two girls went silent.

The first one to baulk was the cameraman, Chris Jericho. I had a small mike attached to my shirt, and he could hear every word I said, crystal clear, through his headphones. He looked up at me, while struggling to keep the camera steady… and seemed to will me to continue.

The two girls then burst out giggling.

Thank god they had to get down a couple of stops after that.

Of all the things to say… I should have asked about the weather.

That was bad. Could there have been a worse reply?

Apparently not, according to the producers.

They told me they had wanted to bill this the romeo’s race, for that quote and another incident later on in the day involving a girl in a taxi. They decided to focus on some other more entertaining bits eventually, especially the part where we gobbled down raw ostrich egg, the near fall into the crocodile pit, the blood, and the car crash at the finishing point.

*******

I don’ talk much to people on the bus these days.

The Ten Commandments are 100 words or so...

2007-12-08T21:32:00.000Z

and the European Union regulations on the imports and exports of ducks eggs? About 30,000 words.

Thank god I managed to get out of the way of this beast in time...

I was staring at a group of about 15 ducks on a hill one day, as I was waiting for the bus. I was staring at them, they were staring at me... and it became a staring game.

Suddenly, they lunged forward... spread their wings and flew. Over my head and towards the park, landing spectacularly on the lake.

Show offs.

We're at war.

Riddle...

2007-12-01T01:04:00.000Z

that would make the Sphinx incontinent.

If a + b = 6, what is c + d?

*******

This happened about 10, 11 years ago, when I was in college.

I was walking back to my hall of residence, after a mathematics lesson, with a good friend, Alex. We were 18, and between the two of us, we controlled the all-boys ‘house’. We ruled the place. The biggest argument I ever had with him was when he wanted to change the colour of our house shirt to black, from the existing bright pink. I completely disagreed. I felt, among many other feelings, that nothing beats a mean looking group of boys winning a rugby match in their pink shirts.

We walked past a post-box. Alex, who now delves in multi-million dollar deals and is expecting his second child, asked:

“Why is the post box red? Why not blue?”

“So that we don’t confuse it with the sky!!” I replied, laughing my head off at the brilliance of my quick wit.

“Why is the sky blue?”

Why is the sky blue?

That question shut me up.

Why?

I don't know.

It got me thinking…

Thus it began, my quest.

If a + b = 6, what is c + d?

I’m serious, that’s how it began!

That night, I asked many of my hall-mates that question. I asked 11 year-olds to 19 year-olds. A few months on, I went to university, and continued asking that question. A few years down the line, I started working, and asked that question. And till today, I still ask that question.

And I’ve got fascinating answers throughout the years.

The younger ones at college were usually quick to do some maths in their heads, and come up with an answer. They were prepared to get the wrong answer. Of course, the looks on some of their faces when I tell them they’ve got the right answer, were priceless. Add to that a comment that they’re set for pre-university mathematics with such intelligence, and you have totally confused kids.

The more mature ones, if they don’t tell me to get lost, or completely ignore the question, would give it a go. Some went to great lengths to try and solve it, and I’ve come across some truly amazing efforts. I’ve been introduced to some pretty cool maths formulae I’ve never heard of before, statistical analyses, theorems…

c + d, to me, is anything you want it to be.

Whatever answer you give, is the correct answer. Absolutely whatever.

As long as you’re happy with it.

I've got cold stares, scoldings, threats of actual bodily harm and stuff like that when people hear my answer… Obviously, they were not as amused as I was :-). Some laugh, some insist that there must be a mathematical solution to it. Some, after finding out my answer, were equally intrigued by their own reaction to the problem. Interesting, how people react…

I don’t know what I’d set out to prove, but it doesn’t matter I guess. It can be for any reason, as long as I’m happy with it!

And 10 years on, those mean boys are still wearing pink…

The world is your oyster...

2007-11-24T23:49:00.000Z

but most oysters are found in the sea.

"Hi sir, how're you doing?'

I looked up.

Two burly uniformed police officers stood before me. I was cornered. I had nowhere to run. Of course, I had no intention to do so. But the fact of the matter was, I had nowhere to run.

"Sir, we have the right to search you under Section 44(2) of the Terrorism Act."

Have you ever seen a duck in water before? As it moves along the surface of the water, it looks most serene. But just beneath, it's feet will be flapping wildly, trying to keep itself afloat... that's how I was.

I looked around, not sure what I was looking for. I had been in the quiet corner of the concourse, reading the fare guide intently, minding my own business. Most of the people who were coming from the direction of the train station, where I had come from, went down straight to the tube platform.

For the next few minutes, they searched my rucksack, and took down my details.

Hair : Short black

Clothing : Upper : Black Jacket; Lower : Black Jeans

Footwear : Brown Shoes

Build : Medium

etc.

Throughout, I remained calm, answering the questions they asked, trying my best not to look like a duck. Forgetting how to spell the name of the street I lived on didn't help.

Arrested?

No.

"Here's your record. You're free to go."

I took the pink slip, and kept it in my pocket.

Relieved.

Well, at least I had an excuse for being late to meet my friend...

*******

It wasn't too bad actually, they were polite, and had gone to great lengths to keep me comfortable.

Got to take it on the chin.

Was I insulted?

Nope. It happens.

Keep up the good work guys!

Courage is not the absence of fear...

2007-11-17T01:29:00.000Z

it is acting in spite of it.

Imagine you are doing a safari in Kenya.

A lion starts running at your direction.

25 seconds.

Two paths...

What do you do?

20 seconds.

.

15 seconds.

.

10 seconds.

.

5 seconds.

.

An imperfect but fast decision-making process is better than a perfect but time consuming one.

.

Thank you, Dr. Laure Cabantous, you are brilliant.

L'espoir pour vous voir encore!

If you weren't real...

2007-11-10T00:22:00.000Z

I would make you up

now

I read it. I understood it perfectly well. She read it as well. She understood it perfectly well, as well. The only problem was, we understood it differently.

There were three ways to do this. One was to pour it into the left cup. The second, into the right cup. The third, and this was how I understood it, was to just splash detergent on top of my laundry.

"This is detergent actually, not bleach or softener... so shouldn't we pour it straight onto my clothes? That's what the instruction here says..."

The Greek sweety shook her head and asked me to wash the left cup she took out from my machine. "Trust me. Your first time doing laundry?"

Hmph... not that again.

She kindly offered to pour my detergent into that left cup, and then slammed the drum door shut. There was no turning back, and nothing left for me to do. Coins into the machine, and I just had to wait for 39 minutes...

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

*******

The next time I was in that laundry room, I was all set to splash it into the centre, right on top of my clothes. There were three other people around, one doing her laundry, the other two, just hanging around.

Like wet laundry... :-)

Just to confirm, why not?

"So, you'd pour the detergent into the middle, right?"

The one doing her laundry turned to me, and began to walk towards me, and she got closer, and closer, whoa isn't that too close to answer a laundry question...

and she took the detergent bottle from my hand.

Dude, get a grip of your life!

And you can start by holding on to your detergent bottles like a man!

"This you must pour into the right cup."

What??

I tried to diplomatically protest, but she was quite sure of herself. She looked like she'd been to the laundry room many more times than I'd been there, so, in a way, I guess she had the right to dictate how it operates...

I poured it this time, into what I was sure was another wrong cup, and she pressed the setting for me. Whites and colours. And an extra button, 'permanent press'. No idea what that does.

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

*******

This time, I was determined. No one was going to stop me. That blue liquid, all 125 ml of it, was going into no cups. No way. It's gonna go straight on top of my clothes. No one could make me do otherwise.

And I executed my plan, successfully.

I smiled to myself. I was happy. I slammed the door shut.

A bit too hard.

Whites and colours. What the heck, permanent press too.

Too bad no one was around to see me do this...

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without
A fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night

*******

If we do something with the right intention, it doesn't really matter how we go about doing it - left cup, right cup or in the middle - we'll always come out smelling like fresh laundry :-)

Coz when we do things with the right intentions, the world somehow conspires to help us.

:-)

love ~ the one game you lose...

2007-11-03T00:02:00.001Z

if you refuse to play.

It was close to midnight, and I was furiously typing. I reached the end of the sentence and I gave the return key on my laptop a mighty tap, nearly a punch, with my muscular index finger...

And that set-off the fire alarm in my room!

I looked at the ceiling, and the alarm was blinking. And wailing...

I contemplated reaching up to see if I could shut it, but I guess the fire brigade was probably on it's way already, knowing how efficient they are in this country. I better evacuate.

Hmm... I must've been hallucinating... I couldn't possibly have caused the fire alarm to go off.

I headed for the door, and remembered that in this country, it would be freezing outside. So I put on more clothes. Headed for the door again, and remembered my mobile phone. Headed for the door again, and remembered my wallet in the drawer...

Oi, it's midnight and you're going to be gathering in a car park! What do you need your phone and wallet for??

I left my room, and saw the rest of my hall-mates slowly making their way down the fire escape. As we gathered in the carpark at that cold and windy and damp and dark hour, I realised that it was the first time I was seeing quite a number of my 150 hall-mates. This was certainly a good way to network! Most of us had nowhere to go for the next 15 minutes, we were in our sleeping gowns, pyjamas and other stuff I don't see often... and all generally pissed-off. When moods match, conversations flow.

And for a bunch of people who were preparing to go to bed or were already sleeping, we looked quite good actually...

*******

The next morning, the following notice was pasted near the main staircase of the hall (name, I censored):

"Reason for false fire alarm:

Who did it?....... M****K

'The Uncensored Story'

1. M****k sets off the alarm.
2. Why?
3. Because he really likes this girl...
4. Who?
5. We don't know either :-) ... but...
6. Apparently his friends say that she doesn't look too good without make-up... so
7. To prove them wrong, he sets off the alarm by smashing the fire safety glass...
8. So that she comes out without make-up...
9.We all hope that M****k managed to prove his point and is happy.

n.b. M****k along with his friends were first to come down and stand near the door to check her out."

Tossers.

They should have just told me. I would have got Michael from the job-agency or Chantelle from Paris to sort it out...

*******

An old saying, Spanish I think:

Occasionally, the train goes past and you must catch it because it will never come back, and that's true even when it is passing at an inopportune moment.

Only fight battles...

2007-10-27T23:44:00.000+01:00

that can be won.

The smoke billowing was overwhelming.

The sound emanating was worrying.

My grips I made stronger...

My life flashed by. My mind wandered to those people who I know would probably do anything to get me out of this perilous position I find myself in. A sense of regret began to creep in...

I must perservere. I simply must. My life probably depends on this.

A sharp pain snapped my mind wandering any further.

Another battle scar... as I examined the damage on my right arm.

At times like this, I am thankful for the 5 years of rigorous army training I had in my teenage years. I knew the hours of marching under the scorching sun, the skills in handling and firing M-16's, Styer AUG's and vehicle mounted armament and those days and nights in the jungle would come in handy someday - and today was one of those days.

Suddenly, an alien sound began to pierce the surroundings. As quickly as a leopard waiting in hiding for it's prey, I spun around in the direction of the sound...

"Is this your first time?"

I nearly dropped the ladle I was holding, but the oil began to drip... drip... drip...

I put the ladle on the counter.

"Yes."

And I flashed a light-bulb smile.

She smiled back and went about to prepare her dinner.

I quickly returned to my beef patty that was cooking, I hope, on my non-stick frying-pan. Embarrassed, I thought I began to blush a little.

Or was that my cheeks getting fried as well?

How did she know? Did I look that pathetic? Was it my posture? Ladle the wrong way? What what what?

Damn this kitchen. I can adapt in so many places, but here, I'm lost...

*******

It got fried, I poured ketchup to neutralise the burnt bits, slapped it between two slices of bread, and had my first self-made meal.

Now, what do I do with this hot excess oil?

*******

A few days later...

I was back in the kitchen, frying another beef patty, which was fast becoming my favourite meal. Of course, that was also pretty much the only thing in my freezer that I could fry, and I was beginning to get kicks frying... flipping on the stove, heating the hob to level '4', then non-stick frying-pan on hob, some oil, hand hovering gingerly over pan to get a feel of the heat, then the meat, a dash of pepper, before I stand way back to enjoy the sweet melodious sound of frozen meat meeting boiling oil.

Suddenly...

"You cooking dinner?"

Eh?

Question from one of my flat-mates who had just walked into the kitchen.

Look lady, I'm standing here in front of the stove, in the kitchen, ladle in hand, smoke pretty much coming out of my ears, oil jumping from the pan, two slices of bread on a plate beside me... and you want to know if I was cooking dinner? What did it look like?? What the heck did it otherwise look like??

"Yes."

And I flashed a light-bulb smile again, which I seem to be using whenever I get questioned in the kitchen.

I probably would have said I was "frying toothpaste, want some?" or something like that on a normal day, but it looks like my kitchen buddies still haven't gotten over the fact that I've begun to cook. So, I'll give them the benefit of doubt.

Get over it, I've arrived!

My beef sandwich is getting better by the day. Next time, I will experiment by adding some cucumber perhaps.

But I still haven't figured out what to do with the hot excess oil though...

Maybe surrounded by, a million people I...

2007-10-20T00:46:00.000+01:00

still feel all alone.

I was driving home from work late one night, listening to my favourite song on the radio, when my sister called. After chatting a few minutes, she said:

"You forgot Sue's birthday."

Sue?

"Who's Sue?"

"Your niece!"

Oh yea, we do call her Sue for short, sometimes.

"When's her birthday?"

"Today!"

14 September.

"She's upset."

"Upset?? She's one!"

"Well, she's upset anyway."

There are some things which you shouldn't bother explaining.

"Technically speaking, I didn't forget her birthday. She was born last year, so this is the first time her birthday has come around, so I didn't really forget it... coz I didn't 'remember' it in the first place..."

"Whatever, she's still upset with you."

Yep, I just shouldn't have bothered. Nothing could justify it, though I did try.

Well, I made it up to my niece, and if a one year old could get upset coz her uncle forgot her birthday, than she was surely happy to get my belated birthday gift.

*******

Sometimes, we should just apologise. There are times when we may have an explanation for what happened, but, apologise anyway.

Unless people want to know why it happened, what the heck was the thinking behind it. Then, perhaps an explanation. Which may make sense. Sometimes.

But don't forget to apologise...

:-)

It'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

What unites us...

2007-10-13T02:04:00.000+01:00

is more than what divides us.

An annual day of celebration of victory, accomplishment and reflection. Usually with family.

This time, 6000 miles away from home, the day started off with many others who observed the day as well. It ended with a bunch of crazy people of over 20 nationalities, different in many ways yet similar in certain other ways, who have come together for the next 12 months with like-minded goals and wanting to achieve it together. And along the way, getting to know one another, finding out what is important, closest and dearest to each, and crucially, respecting and celebrating differences.

I never doubted that we had it in us, but finding it out for yourself is always refreshing :-)

Relationships are everything...

2007-10-06T01:30:00.000+01:00

without relationships, you don't exist.

Why do drug-dealers live with their mothers?

Your english is like... literature...

I know it's just the first week, but I'm already three weeks behind schedule.

The opposable thumb.

You sound afro-caribbeanny...

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
does love blaze less from afar?

50 more weeks like this...?

Dreams are free...

2007-09-29T00:04:00.000+01:00

but realising your dreams always comes with a price.

A friend recently got what she really, really wanted. She had set her sights on getting it, did all she could to get it, and she got it in the end. I was at a graduation ceremony a few months back, and the speaker at the ceremony said that sometimes, acting like you really, really wanted something, may actually help you get it... well, it's such a nice feeling you have inside when people close to you, or anyone actually, achieve what they aim for. It's not easy, to have these feelings of happiness for others, especially when things are not going well for you, but it's something which I nowadays look forward too. Feeling happy for friends and family when they are happy too.

My friends are most happy when they find that special someone. For whatever reason, somehow the other details in their lifes fall into place once this personal aspect is ... in order? :-) Try talking to people about how they met him or her. What attracted them to each other. What they saw in each other. How they knew that was the one for them. Fascinating stories will emerge. I was on a long-haul flight recently and sat beside an elderly couple from Essex. The had been married for over 30 years, and it all started at a Young Farmers Party in a bar that many years ago when Steve went up to Catherine and asked, "Can I buy you a drink?" Hah! I've heard so much about that immortal line but this was the first couple I met that got married after that!

It's great to be living out a dream. The past three years, I was living out a dream. Absolutely fantastic. I could make it what I wanted it to be, and I did. It was beyond my expectations. I already have stories to tell my granchildren (...why do we always share stories with granchildren? Why not friends and family?).

I paid a heavy price to live out this dream. But I don't regret the decisions I made. I don't regret a single day. What's important is that I decided to move on, from living out my dream, to... something else, and I'm not too sure what this monster will turn out to be.

Whatever it is, I'm looking out for my free ride now!

Life is like an onion...

2007-09-23T20:35:00.001+01:00

you peel it layer by layer and sometimes you cry.

Every new chapter in our life can be likened to an onion, maybe a big red one. Which will have many layers of course.

Which reminds me...

When I was a young boy, my mum asked me to go buy some onions. I got on my bicycle, and got to the shop. I spent about a quarter of an hour picking those onions, which I knew were going to be used for dinner. I got home soon after.

About the time when I figure my mum was going to chop the onions, she screamed for me. I'm sure she asked for onions only... so what could be the problem? I went into the kitchen, and my mum showed me the onions that I painstakingly picked.

"What's this??"

I could swear they were onions (what else could they be?), but at moments like that, you begin to doubt yourself. You should never get a woman in a kitchen angry. Here was one, a very livid one at that.

"Onions...?"

Not the answer she was looking for.

"They're all spoilt!"

"Huh?"

No way.

"But I made sure I picked the softest ones..."

My mum was very angry.

If I remember correctly, she then burst out laughing. I was very confused. She managed to ask me to go away. I did. Still confused.

Later in the day, after my whole family was told about the 'incident', I found out that onions, at the point of buying, should be firm. They get soft at the point of cooking...

It's been nearly fifteen years since that.

I never imagined that buying (the wrong) onions will teach me so much.

It was the first (and till today, the only) time my mum ever asked me to buy onions, and I had never bought onions before that. So things could go wrong. I secretly still blame her for it.

I was poring over and caressing each bulb of onion, feeling it's texture and gently squeezing it to find the ones with the right level of softness. I can imagine the amazement of the other shoppers, a young boy with such particularity over his onions.

The cashier-lady. What was she thinking of, me bringing the abolute worst ones to the counter?

*******

Always know clearly what people want before helping them with it. People who seem to be very deft and assured doing whatever it is they are doing, may not always know what they are doing... though pretending to be is a good way to impress people! People will not always tell you if you are on the wrong path. They may just encourage you along, due to indifference or ingnorance. And it's always good to allow a laugh at your mistakes, provided you get the joke.

My onions and I :-)

I've got a big fat red onion in front of me now. Let's see how well I peel it. I hope a little better that the last big fat red onion I had not too long ago...