Over the oceans...

The past couple of days had been quite hectic, and stand out for my deprivation of sleep.

So getting onto the flight this morning was something I was looking forward to, as it meant I could get a few hours of very welcome sleep.

As I was settling in my seat, someone says. “Hey bro, how’re you doing?”

I look up and it’s the elder brother of a friend of mine (yep, the same guy who emceed that friend’s wedding that I wrote about in my previous posting).

“I’m ok! Where’re you heading to?”

“Err… to the same place you’re heading to … I guess…”

Well of course, we’re in a plane.

“I’ll catch you later yea…” he says as he moves down the aisle.

I must get out more often.

*******

This reminded me of something I said a few years ago.

Guest: Hi, I don't think we've met.

Me: I don't think I've met you before either...

Beautiful warnings...

It's been a cacophony of weddings this past month!

The first two of three were interracial.

The second one was of a friend I've known since I was five (who also happens to be one of three friends I've known longest in my life). The trouble with having your elder brother emcee your wedding is having things like this said about you:

"My brother was not a particularly ugly baby, but my mum started having morning sickness after he was born."

;-)

A couple of Sunday's ago, I attended a third, very purple, wedding.

I was seated beside an elderly lady, whom I discovered was related to the groom.

From her eyes, I could sense she was one steely lady. Across the night she shared some lovely stories. How she had not even seen a picture of her husband, what more met him, before the day of their marriage. In fact, she had asked the equivalent of her bridesmaid to describe her husband to her on the day of the wedding itself, but when her mum found out, she was scolded.

"Why? You have someone else to compare him to, is it??"

She told me that the first words her husband uttered to her when he first saw her after the solemnisation of the marriage were words to the following effect:

"Please accept me as your husband. I want to live my whole life with you and die in your arms."

My goodness. What words.

God is great, and his words did come true, as he died in her arms when he suddenly passed away at their new home, two weeks after retiring and having just moved to KL from Penang.

The lady continued her stories and one thing struck me hard. She said she missed the old days when we were all much closer.

"Nowadays, we're so busy with everything; we've got no time for family."

"Whenever I see the younger ones, they always say 'How're you' and that's about it. Well, I say to hell with your 'how are yous'!

"If that's all you're going to say to me, better not say anything!"

I nodded in agreement with what she said. The younger generation is becoming like that.

Aunty, I don't know your name, but the next time I meet you, you are definitely getting more than a 'how are you' from me.

Ramadhan Mubarak. When Eid comes around and you meet your aunties and uncles, remember, something more than a 'how are you?' this year ok...

The appearance of a disease is swift as an arrow...

its disappearance slow, like a thread.

~ Chinese Proverb.


A friend once told me that in Britain, if someone says "how're you doing?", the correct reply should be a "how're you doing?" as well. At least to the elders...

I'm not too sure about that, but I practiced it for a while. I did it for a while here in Malaysia as well, but stopped because people didn't really get me.

Anyway, today I met colleague whom I hadn't met for about a month.

"How're you doing?" I ask.

"I just had a stroke," he mumbled with difficulty.

I was stunned.

"When?"

"3 weeks ago."

He proceeds to show me how one side of his face is paralysed. He takes off his glasses and blinks, but only one eye blinks.

"How come you're back at work?"

"I can't sit still at home. I'm still undergoing treatment though."

He explains that one side of his body was slightly affected, and he can't carry stuff with that hand.

I've come across people I know who've suffered a stroke. But seeing this friend - it messed me up a bit.

Back home, I wikiepedia-ed stroke.

A stroke (sometimes called a cerebrovascular accident (CVA)) is the rapidly developing loss of brain function(s) due to disturbance in the blood supply to the brain, caused by a blocked or burst blood vessel. This can be due to ischemia (lack of blood flow) caused by thrombosis or arterial embolism or due to a hemorrhage. As a result, the affected area of the brain is unable to function, leading to inability to move one or more limbs on one side of the body, inability to understand or formulate speech, or inability to see one side of the visual field.

A stroke is a medical emergency and can cause permanent neurological damage, complications, and death. It is the leading cause of adult disability in the United States and Europe. It is the number two cause of death worldwide and may soon become the leading cause of death worldwide. Risk factors for stroke include advanced age, hypertension (high blood pressure), previous stroke or transient ischemic attack (TIA), diabetes, high cholesterol, cigarette smoking and atrial fibrillation. High blood pressure is the most important modifiable risk factor of stroke.

Goodness.

I'll be ready...

never you fear.

When I wrote in my last post about the tree incident that happened a few weeks ago, it reminded me of this incident that happened a few years ago :-)

*******

"It's the block of offices after Baywatch..."

This was not sun-drenched Miami, or wherever it was that the Baywatch we all know was supposed to have been set, but rain-drenched Kelana Jaya.

"Did you just say Baywatch??"

Apparently, this Baywatch is a food court. I was going to meet a friend at his office one evening after work and that was the landmark.

*******

I was walking back to my car that was parked along the road outside the block. As I was walking, I saw that a minor accident had happened. I figured out from the scene that the BMW was waiting to make a u-turn, and the souped up 20-year old Mitsubishi clipped the BMW when the driver tried to overtake the BMW at the u-turn.

Very stupid.

The passengers from both cars were already outside and there was a shouting match going on, but it was mostly in Mandarin. The BMW driver was a 30-something guy, and he seemed to have a 58-year old uncle as his passenger. The Mitsubishi had four boys, all in their late-teens. I walked past the commotion towards my car.

I got into my car (Proton Satria 1.3GLS, manual tranmission, manual windows as well). Swung it around, and would have to pass the accident scene before I reached the junction to the main road.

As I drove past the scene, I was bloody shocked to see what was going on...

Uncle was holding one of the young boys, the driver presumably, by his throat! The boy's feet were nearly off the ground... and his friends seemed rooted by fear where they were. The BMW driver was screaming at uncle to stop (or egging him on, not sure)... but uncle was beating up the boy.

This called for some intervention! I ground my car to a halt, just outside Baywatch, and jumped out. The screaming that was going-on attracted some of the Baywatch life-guards... eh I mean waiters, to come out and see what was going on.

"Come-on!!!" I screamed at them before running to intervene.

As we got closer and closer, I was thinking what we should do... we can't simply barge in and starting beating up uncle, can we?

The best is just get in between uncle and the poor boy who was still being held by his neck.

"Hoi!!!" I screamed while still running, to get uncle's attention. "Stop! Hoi! Stop!"

Ok better tell the others that there's no turning back and we should just jump in ....

Turned to face the Baywatch dudes just behind me...

... and I saw nothing...

... not a single person ...

... oh wait, I can make them out, there they are... still just outside Baywatch eagerly waiting to see what I would do.

Turned to the front again, and there was uncle, having let go of the boy, looking at me.

He moved forward. I began to retreat.

Then uncle gave a couple of flying kicks to the Mitsubishi (could have been my face).

Then he cursed at the boys, before getting into the BMW. The driver got in as well, and they drove off.

The four boys looked very relieved that uncle had gone away... last I remember they were looking for a lost slipper.

I went back to my car, ignoring the Baywatch onlookers. As I drove back, I was thinking.

It's not easy being a David Hasselhoff.

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it...

does it make a sound?

*****

The torrential rain in KL has been really something to speak about. The roads turn into rivers. Sometimes you wonder what the city would be like if drains didn’t exist.

I was driving one day about 3pm with a colleague, to a hotel for a meeting, when we got caught in a traffic crawl. This was within earshot of my employer’s headquarters mind you (as if this fact was a sign of anything…). The rain was so heavy that the view from my windscreen was a blur despite the valiant efforts of my 15 year old wipers at full speed to remove the raindrops away. The road I was on is usually completely shaded by the 50 to 60 foot lush trees. One of those cosy roads that you love to drive on. Now the lashing rain made the trees sway madly.

The SUV in front of my car moves, and I move my car too. Suddenly, I see a 20 feet long branch snap off and come crashing down on the SUV. The SUV shudders to a stop, and so do I.

For what seemed an eternity, I sat there, thinking what a close call that was. Then it dawned on me that the driver of the SUV may be squished! I got out of my car, jinked to the back to get my umbrella - before realising that I can’t do a rescue mission holding an umbrella! I was already drenched hand, foot and mouth in that short time. I ran over to the SUV, expecting to pull out a bloodied and wailing driver at best… but as I got to the driver’s side, he opens the door and gets out, stunned. He was in uniform, and he looked to me like an auxiliary policeman. No blood, so that was a relief. I ask if he’s ok, and he asks if I can help remove the branch.

I thought he was nuts. I looked back, and traffic was already backed up as far as the eye can see. I give the branch a nudge to see how heavy the behemoth was. It was very heavy. Carrying it would be impossible for the two of us, but should be possible with the many KLites who would in a few moments stream along to help.

In the meantime, leveraging on the position of the branch across the bonnet of the SUV, the two of us attempted to force the branch over the vehicle. Just as we were about to roll it over, I realised that the branch had snagged a cable on its way down. Not wanting to first get electrocuted and second cause a blackout in KL, I screamed at the dude to stop. At this point I realise that there’s actually another guy in the passenger seat, still stunned that a tree had fallen on his vehicle. We manage to convince him to get real, get onto the driver’s side and reverse the SUV a little.

The two of us then heaved and pushed the branch off the SUV and launched it over the safety railings on the other side of the road, taking advantage of the momentum of the heavy branch to pull off this manoeuvre… pulling down the cable a little further, but not wrenching it down. But my deltoid muscles…

I was soaked to the bone.

Throughout the 2 minutes it took for all this to take place, a lot of people stopped to look, but not a single person came forward to help.

Not surprising though. Who would want to get wet on a working day?

By this time, my colleague had used her blackberry to e-mail her next appointment saying she won’t make it because a tree fell in front of her ride.

As I got back into the car, she remarked that I had to get changed because I was dripping wet. Not a single thread was dry.

She had a closer look, and saw streaks of dirt across my shirt.

“Eww, what’s that?”

I looked at my shirt, and said “Must be from the tree…”

“Oh… the tree is quite dirty.”

“Yea…” I replied… disappointed that my shirt now had dirt stains.

As we drove on in the driving rain… very soon we realized the utter obnoxiousness of the statements we made. These are the type of things you won’t be able to live down if anyone knew you said it…

My colleague made it on time for her appointment.

As I drove back home early through the rivers of KL that evening, I recalled fondly two other incidents, one a close call, and the other involving ‘water' … :-)

******

It’s not the sound it makes when it falls, it’s the silence it leaves when it’s gone.

Class of 2009

My brothers and sisters of the class of 2009,

Be humble

You reap what you sow

In a new place
Remember where you come from
Remember you come in what form

Get familiar with the people
You never know who can help you put up a great show
You never know who can help your dreams grow

It’s a jungle
So create an identity
That you can take pride in

Write

Be prepared to meet all sorts of people
In all sorts of places

Learn from the experiences of others
Especially when they are willing to share

Ask
(but not too much)

It may be nature’s call
For you to give back to others
Even when you only have 30 seconds to decide

Surround yourself with inspiring characters
They may just inspire you

Ask
(but don’t forget how much)

Focus

Take a stand
But don't be afraid to stand corrected
Get your voice heard
But don't forget to listen

Communicate
Even to those who can’t see you
Even to those who can’t hear you

Sell

Plan and prepare
But be prepared to change and adapt
But still create wealth

Give
Unconditionally

Fight for your rights
Fight for what you believe is right
You can't make everyone happy
But try understand what's it like being in their shoes

Remember the masks people wear
Remember the masks you wear

Appreciate the value of others
and the value of yourself

Survive

Partake in the simple joys of others
It may make you smile too

Carry babies from the cot
And notice the hornbills on tree-tops

Go outside sometimes
And do battle with the elements

Let the natives dance
And then join them

Practice

Like what you do
I say it again
Like what you do

Practice, many more times

Have fun with acronyms
But find out why things are named so weird

Perform
like it really matters

Be prepared
for
suprises
along the way

But
nail
the
performance
nevertheless
It may turn out to be the best

Embrace your results
But promise yourself
You will move on quick

Don't underestimate
what you can learn from others
Don't underestimate
what others can learn from you

It's not too long
It's not too short
a time
It's what you do with time

Remember
Treasure
As time goes by

But always
be
humble.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday...

but never remembers her age.

Although my birthday celebrations tend to be more muted than the average Joe, I've had a few that will stay with me for a few more birthdays to come.

*******

There was one when I turned 10 I think, where I got many M.A.S.K. toys... Thunderhawk, Condor, Raven, Switchblade, Iguana…

*******

In high school, there were three of us in my class who had the same birthdates. What are the odds of that??

(seriously, what are the odds of that?)

*******

Surprise birthday parties can go horribly wrong. This one year, there were about 30 people crammed into a house in Nottingham waiting to surprise me. What no one realised was I had wanted to spend the night quietly, and had other plans. The guys who were to bring me to the house only managed to convince me to follow them after a considerable amount of time... and by the time I made my entry, I had to face quite a number of pissed people!

*******

This one five years ago takes the cake!

I got a bouquet of flowers sent to me at the office, signed off “secret admirer”. I immediately thought it was my colleagues, as they were the ones who would tend to remember these dates, but their denials revealed it wasn’t. The handwriting on the card though, looked familiar. I had my suspicions.

I went home and dug through some old papers at the bottom drawer of the cupboard, and finally found some evidence! I looked at the handwriting on the card that came with the bouquet, and compared it with the one on the note written by a friend 10 years earlier. The similarities were obvious! Add to the fact that this friend's birthday was a day before mine - she would definitely remember! The first thing I did was to inform my colleagues how I solved the mystery of the "secret admirer" so quickly.

I also figured it must have been a double act, and so messaged this friend and another who I was certain was involved as well.

They feigned knowledge at first.

And still feigned knowledge a few phone calls later.

They denied and denied... and continued denying... till the end of the day.

The next day, late afternoon, I finally found out it was indeed my colleagues. They were apparently splitting slides the whole evening before as I updated them the progress of my forensics...

The next year, those two friends sent me a bouquet on my birthday, and in the card they wrote, “we’re sorry we forgot your birthday last year, but this time it’s really us!”

*******

Two years ago, and this time back in Nottingham, 4 big guys (Florian, Chris, Bilal, Wira) waylaid me and bundled me into a cab to an all-you-can-eat buffet. These guys were really hungry. My birthday was just an excuse.

*******

This year, it was the first with the wife. Very memorable! Thanks dear.

Now if only birthdays came every month… :-)