Every step I take away from you...

I'll be two steps closer to your embrace.


Or something like that.

Puteri Gunung Ledang The Musical was supposed to start at 8.30pm. But for me, the drama started at 8.04pm.

As I drove into the grounds of the theatre, I was pleasantly surprised to see the traffic controllers move away and ask me to drive right through what seemed to me to be the VIP path. The cars in front of me had been ushered to take the less privileged route, to park in the boondocks I believe.

I was driving a borrowed car, which was slightly bigger and more imposing compared to the standard car... well, if it came with certain privileges, why not bask in it? It looked like my colleague and I were meant to arrive in style for this musical!

I soon realised that the path led to the lower lobby of the theatre. I saw a couple of doormen waiting, and I thought I'd ask them where in the lower lobby I should park. As I slowed the car to a halt, one of them opened the passenger door to let my colleague out, and the one on my side, wait a minute... was going to open the back door... but why?? No one at the back woi...

Cheh... they thought I was chauffer-driving the car!

10 minutes later, the both of us were making our way to the theatre, having parked in the boondocks.

The play was… nice. A little less rousing than I expected… but I’m glad I caught it just days before it was never to be staged again.

I was intrigued by the Micheal Jackson ‘Thriller’ sequence - when the nenek kebayans were facing off with the 7 warriors in the jungles of Gunung Ledang...

Some of the lines were quite corny… when translated into English. In Malay, they sounded poetically mesmerising…

Talking about lines, during the break, I saw the longest line to the ladies toilet I've ever seen in my life. So the horror stories floating around KL about these toilets were indeed true. And just before the start of the second half, I overheard a guy, coming back into the theatre, asking the lady sitting behind me, "Hi…. How’re you? Hmm... How's the view from here?” Sigh... I pity the guy. Small talk is not easy.

Sultan Mahmud of Melaka was one of the characters in the play. This Sultan Mahmud must have been one helluva guy – every time I see this character portrayed in a play, he’s always gatal.

I too once played the role of Sultan Mahmud in a stage play. Naturally, had to be gatal. The scriptwriters (Naz and Haz) gave me some pretty awesome lines to use to court the Princess:

Princess wanted seven trays of mosquito hearts:

Haha! Seven trays?! Why not eight?
This is going to be easy,
To prove my love to you Princess,
I will keep my servants busy.

Then Princess wanted seven pitchers of maidens’ tears:

Again you’re extremely kind Puteri,
A simple task for me no doubt,
Every maiden in the land will hear of my marriage,
They will soon be crying their eyes out!

Then she went infrastructure, wanting a bridge of gold and a bridge of silver linking Melaka to Gunung Ledang for eternity...:

Hmm… I will have to consult my Bendahara,
This would cause a huge dent in my treasure,
But not as big as the hole in my heart,
Should I fail under pressure!

And Sultan Mahmud’s immortal words before Princess’ final request…:

Render me poor for all I care,
Failure to have you is something I cannot bear!

And then she asks for my young son’s blood, a bowlful of.

Waduh...


I wonder if these lines would work in real life.